this isn't happeinghappeinghappeing [IT IS!]

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Courtney Simon, Newly incoming Junior estranged, withdrawn, alienated, addicted
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And it came to rest upon a beach with a million others there
We sat and waited for the sea to stretch out so that we could disappear

His homelife had never been conventional, exactly, but he'd always been a happy enough kid. Everyone had their issues and hang-ups - some of them have disillusions which lead them to believe they're from an alien planet put here to protect the children of the earth, some of them think they have communion with god, some of them are inconsolably manic, some of them can't control their temper - it seemed to him or awhile there he'd gotten off lucky with those nightmares that got to him from time to time.

He was just an optimistic kid living in a ticking timebomb he was ignorant to - justified and normalized away. It just didn't seem anywhere close to fair that everything blew up at once. His older brother institutionalized - maybe for good this time, freaking out with a fight started by his significant other with one of his other brothers. He lost a close friend, the loneliness and confusion of adolescence set in, the depression that would probably be there even if it had no justification hit - things he didn't want to talk about and didn't know how to cope with. Just the way that his parents didn't know how to cope with finding out their youngest was an addict. They'd tried to do their best, tried to be proactive, but what remains is the sensitive, intelligent shy book nerd with an odd passion for folk music and serial killers who certainly doesn't belong here slowly starting to learn what this whole life thing is really about and adjusting accordingly.

Into the endlessness of blue, into the horror of the truth
We are far less than we knew. Yes, we are far less than we knew

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