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Post by MADISON RILEY BURTON on Jan 11, 2010 21:41:01 GMT -5
 stop there and let me correct it ,
i wanna live a life from a new perspectivetoday wasn’t the greatest day. technically, you could blame madi. after all, she was the one who didn’t take her pills. could you blame her for absolutely hating taking any kind of medication though? it could be pretty dangerous. an accidental switch of pills could kill her. and though life was pretty damn sucky, the girl didn’t want to die. this school wasn’t so bad. at least there were people there who understood what she was going through. the adults were mostly so annoying though, constantly bugging her about her eating habits and all. she ate fine; it wouldn’t hurt to lose a couple pounds. plus, why would she eat if she wasn’t hungry? like today. it was three in the afternoon, and madison hadn’t eaten anything. well, there was that piece of toast. whatever, the day had been completely fine without food.
well, not completely fine. without her meds, she’d been up and down all day. the pink haired girl started out fine, feeling like she did every morning. soon, her mood went spiraling downwards, and she spent two hours lying in bed thinking about her ex and crying. it gradually became less severe, simply a slight feeling of sadness overcoming her. during that time madison decided to get out of her dorm and walk around. leaving campus without meds could be dangerous, but staying on campus couldn’t hurt. there would be people there that knew her and knew how to deal with her moods. with any luck, it wouldn’t get that bad. people just needed to stay away from her.
her feet carried her across the campus, a few greetings being tossed about. they weren’t really her friends, but it was polite to say hi. no matter what mood she’s in, madison has to be polite. it’s just how she is. well, except for when she’s angry. it’s best to avoid her at all costs then, especially if you aren’t her friend. odds are it’ll turn into a fight, and she can pack a punch. if you’re lucky though, one of her good friends would be around to calm her down. they were few though, seeing as most people were just too fucked up for her taste. they were completely unstable with meds, which was scary. madi didn’t see herself as very dangerous or scary, though she could be. everyone thought she was just some innocent pink haired freak.
she headed towards the field on campus, hoping no one else was there. her mood was turning sour, and being by herself was probably best. no one needed to get hurt. maybe they wouldn’t, but it was better not to take the chance. why make a bad day even worse? though, the hunger that was slowly creeping up on her wasn’t making things better. eating wasn’t an option right now anyway; there were no kitchens or restaurants close.
the bleachers wouldn’t be comfortable, but no one would be there. it wasn’t normal to just go hang out in the bleachers when no one was around and there wasn’t a sports game going on. the field was right in front of her, and luckily, there really was no one there. with a slight smile on her face at that fact, the teenager walked over to the bleachers and climbed them, taking a seat halfway up. going too high up was a bit nerve-wracking, but staying right at the bottom made it easier for people to talk to you. a sigh passed her lips as she sat there, looking around at the barren field. it was nice when no one was around, serene. even though she was a bit angry, the peace and quiet was diminishing the feelings. it was nice.
you come along because i love your face ,
and i'll admire your expensive taste
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Post by rileyy on Jan 16, 2010 18:40:45 GMT -5
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much of the day, sawyer had spent laying in his bed. not sleeping but just lying there with nothing better to do. his social life sucked for one, he wasn’t that social and for the most part people were afraid of him. though he didn’t blame them, his personality wasn’t too hot and neither was his malicious behaviour. most of them probably had a fear they’d get on his bad side and he’d kill them, the possibilities weren’t odd, they had every reason to believe that. though he was technically not allowed to do anything bad or he could end up in jail. the place his parents fought so hard to keep him out of. he was lucky he wasn’t in jail as of now, his parents were amazing. usually if you knew your son had problems like he did, you’d expect them to just let him go to jail, where he deserved to be. though they ended up sending him to this place, this place was like hell. he was required to take his medicine all the time and sometimes he had to do it in the supervision of an adult. to make sure he actually took his medicine.
sawyer had a habit of not taking his medicine which caused a lot of problems. he hallucinated like crazy, he heard voices and for the most part these voices told him to kill people. he imagined the voices in side of his head to be the devil. but then that’d make him possessed wouldn’t it? he wasn’t possessed or so he hoped. he tossed and turned in his bed and stared at the ceiling, just thinking. thinking about what he would do, he was so bored but he didn’t really want to go out. it wasn’t what you’d say exactly safe, he didn’t want to cause trouble today. for once he wanted everything to be normal for once. he wanted a normal day without getting in a fight with a teacher, or a student. he wanted to have a somewhat calming day. so staying in his bed would guarantee that but he was so bored he had to do something. maybe he’d just go somewhere and isolate himself from the rest, so he’s somewhere doing something but not with a lot of people. sawyer though as antisocial as it got, he didn’t like being alone. he liked having friends but having people around him could be a bad idea.
he wasn’t unstable he was just not completely sane. his though process was different than most. after debating with himself for an hour or two, sawyer decided he’d go outside and get some fresh air. he needed it because lately he had been so cooped up in his dorm. and he was getting a bit claustrophobic because of it. sawyer walked outside, avoiding people as much as he could. he didn’t speak to anyone and pretended as if no one else was there. he wasn’t being rude, he didn’t know half of them and he didn’t feel as if he needed to acknowledge their presence. they weren’t important enough to him, his cockiness showed sometimes. he wasn’t really cocky, just today. luckily, he had taken his medicine for his schizophrenia, otherwise today wouldn’t have been a good day to go outside. the only reason he had remembered to take his medicine was because his sister, who cared so much about him had called him this morning to make sure. his sister was definitely a lifesaver, people would eventually become grateful of her. without her he’d probably would’ve not taken his medicine.
when he approached the field he looked up into the bleachers to notice a familiar pink-haired girl. him and madi were good friends, he liked her. she was a nice girl, he always seemed to be worrying about her. it was weird for him though, he never really worried or cared about anyone outside his family. after looking at madi for a few moments he realized he needed to put on his sunglasses, on account the sun was reflecting off her hair. her hair was already bright and out in the sun made it ten times worse. sawyer put on his sunglasses and climbed the steps to the bleachers and walked over to her. he couldn’t tell by her facial expression what kind of mood she was in but he hoped she wasn’t in a bad mood. he didn’t want to regret going outside and he definitely didn’t want to regret leaving the dreadful place he called his room. “hey madison,” he stared off into the field, awaiting her response.
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Post by MADISON RILEY BURTON on Jan 16, 2010 20:16:07 GMT -5
stop there and let me correct it ,
i wanna live a life from a new perspective it was a nice day, which meant madison should be in a good mood. sure, sunny days were kind of bothersome, with the blinding and all, but they put you in a good mood, especially when you wanted to be outside. and, well, rain was just downright depressing most of the time. when it rained, going to school was even more of a hassle, because even the short walk between the dorm building and the school could leave you soaking wet. not to mention it could leave your hair completely messed up. madison wasn’t the complete girly girl, but she did care about her looks. ruining her hair and outfit was not fun. it pissed her off, and when she didn’t take her meds, it was worse. school days were the days she was more apt to take the medicine just to avoid any problems. she didn’t need to be labeled as violent. people would avoid her even more. well, they didn’t necessarily avoid her, she had just been in a less than sociable mood most of the time.
most of the time while she was on her meds, madi was a happy kid. she always tried to be nice and polite, but it wasn’t always genuine. this school was definitely depressing, and she didn’t want to be here, so the girl was acting a bit immature by moping around a little. some people had managed to talk to her when she wasn’t like that, and made friends with her. there were few of those so far though, and most everyone else was an acquaintance of sorts. like the boy who was walking up the bleachers. sawyer and her had gotten along instantly, thanks to a good mood on both ends, and had become good friends. she knew a good bit about him and he knew a good bit about her. sawyer wasn’t too social, or so she observed, so telling him things felt safe. if he didn’t talk to too many people, the odds of him spilling her secrets were slim. in general it seemed that way though. gossiping and all that didn’t seem like this thing at all. it wasn’t hers either, luckily. they wouldn’t run into problems in that department.
there was just one problem madi had with him. she wasn’t so sure how handle her feelings. yes, they were friends, but madison was pretty sure she liked him. getting close to boys like that was difficult for her now. the teenager was just afraid it’d all end up like last time, and she’d never find someone who treated her right and liked her. it was completely irrational, but she couldn’t shake the notion. madison was stubborn, most definitely not someone who’s mind you could easily change. really, all she needed was a boy that’d prove her wrong. sawyer was who she wanted, but it was so doubtful. there were so many other girls he could have with no strings attached. everyone seemed more interested in that. it had been appealing, because you really didn’t have to get close to anyone, but there were so many risks with it. after being this fucked up, she didn’t want to take any more chances. her parents would be devastated, and would probably disown her.
whatever her feelings were, madison was somewhat glad he found her. her mood was still a bit off, but they got along. hopefully nothing would go wrong. he was not the kind of person you wanted to piss off, or so the pink haired girl assumed. he did have some problems with people who bugged him, like madi, but he was worse than her. the girl was always trying to help him out with that though, so he could calm down and not get all worked up. helping was one of her habits, and it was hard to not do it. “hey sawyer. what’s up with you?” she replied, her tone showing she wasn’t exactly in a wonderful mood, but not horrible. her attention turned to him, as a sign of respect and habit. sawyer was probably in a better mood than her, so it could help her a bit by talking to him. maybe his calmer demeanor could calm her.
you come along because i love your face ,
and i'll admire your expensive taste
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Post by rileyy on Jan 17, 2010 12:53:32 GMT -5
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being not so social wasn’t a bad thing, at least sawyer didn’t see it as a bad thing. it was more of a good thing but then again it could’ve been a bad thing. the good thing was that his desire to kill people wasn’t so high, sometimes he had times where he just wanted to kill someone for the fun of it though. but it was less likely he’d kill someone he didn’t know then someone he knew. isn’t that always the way it worked out? probably not. the bad thing was that he was always bored and just laying around, he liked it that way though. maybe it was the fact that everyone always thought he was so fucked up so they stayed away from him and isolated him in school, back in england. truly he was but he liked to think he was perfectly normal and truly nothing was wrong with him. the only bad thing he saw about himself was the fact that he was schizophrenic, and it’d never be cured. he was so sick and tired of the daily routine that consisted of him taking his medicine. it got old and tiring and sometimes he didn’t really want to. though clearly without it, he’d go completely insane.
his medicine was like a drug and it was the only thing that made him feel normal and good. he was becoming slightly addicted to his medication on a count he had to take it every day for the rest of his life. sawyer couldn’t remember a day in his life where he was completely normal and he wasn’t on medication. he had always been messed up as far as he could remember. his mother spent much of her time, comforting him and sending him to therapy. therapy usually calmed him but after awhile he stopped going. simply because the medication usually worked. he was sure his mother was always so stressed out with him, her hair started turning gray way before it should have. it was stress, he was sure. his father never worried so much about him, his father’s job was to keep him out of jail, basically. his sister had the job of reminding him to take his medication. he was always such a burden on them, their life basically revolved around him. they did everything they could to make sure he was okay.
this place was like hell to him, he had no freedom anymore. back at home he had a little bit of freedom, here he didn’t. he sought this place to be similar or equal to prison, if it wasn’t then what was it? obviously he was allowed to go off campus but either way he wanted to be home with his family. he didn’t like many people here, they were all too corrupted for his liking. he wanted to be around all normal people so he’d feel more normal. the only good thing about being here was that he met madison which his feelings for her were all over the place. some days he hated her and some days he loved her. it usually depended on both of their moods, if they were both in bad moods they didn’t get along all the time. but if they were both in good moods then chances were they got along well. lately sawyer had been in an okay mood because he hadn’t had any altercations with others. he had been alone for the most part, which he obviously didn’t mind. being alone was something he was going to get used to, on account that he didn’t like half of the people in this hell house.
sawyer’s apathetic expression turned into a frown when she spoke. he could tell she wasn’t in a good mood. he was curious as to why she was in a bad mood but then again she was bipolar. madi was infamous for not taking her medication. “i’m okay,” his gaze turned back into the field. nothing exciting was really going on, but nothing exciting ever happened at the school anyway. “did you take your meds today?” chances were she hadn’t but maybe she did and something else was bringing her down. she didn’t seem to be in a horrible mood which was better because he honestly didn’t want to be around someone who was in a horrible mood. then again he didn’t mind being around madi, he liked calming her. it made him feel like he had a point on this earth. obviously it wasn’t to help people but helping a friend always made him feel better.
[/blockquote][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [/font][/color] tagged for madison with 768 words. outfit: click
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Post by MADISON RILEY BURTON on Jan 18, 2010 0:22:56 GMT -5
stop there and let me correct it ,
i wanna live a life from a new perspective madison wondered what it would be like to be at a normal high school, even if she was still messed up. maybe her meds would be more appealing. it did seem like it’d be a better cure for all of this. how could someone with disorders get better if they were just surrounded by them all the time? at least in a regular high school they were kept private. and just because they followed her to the bathroom majority of the time to make sure she didn’t puke didn’t mean it didn’t happen. madi was pretty smart, and knew how to go about these things. once or twice, to get rid of the urge, a garbage pail had even been used. honestly, the girl hated being bulimic. sure, binging was pretty great with all the tasty foods, but purging was kind of gross. it was working for her though, and she saw herself getting thinner and thinner every day. it just didn’t work when they watched her like a hawk and ruined her routine. how was she supposed to get better if she didn’t reach her goal?
people were telling her just about every day that she was beautiful, though they probably had to so she’d ease out of her bulimia. madison half believed it. make up could make anyone pretty. without make up, she most definitely wasn’t. the girl thought she was flabby, and definitely needed to lose weight. working out was difficult, and she liked eating, so naturally it only made sense to rid herself of all the junk taken in. well, majority of them. you really couldn’t avoid the calories and whatnot of a piece of gum, or of a small candy. though, madi had been thinking of ways to aside from just not eating them. was it possible things were getting worse here? maybe it was just being new. whatever it was, she did kind of want to get better. going home would be really wonderful. she’d miss a few people here, but madison would be content calling them, or visiting over breaks. maybe not so much. but being considered a freak wasn’t cool at all, especially when the people who used to be your friends were now talking about you being insane.
the teenager was reluctant to answer sawyer’s question. he probably knew the answer, and it wasn’t his favorite thing to hear. it wasn’t madi’s fault that the medicine tasted bad, and she was paranoid. honestly, the girl didn’t think the nurses paid enough attention to the pills in the little cups. they just threw them around and threw the meds in them, hoping to remember which was which, or so she assumed. the girl had little faith in the medical faculty at the school, probably because school faculty in general seemed to care very little about the students. most of her experiences with school related nurses weren’t good anyway. these had to be good nurses though, right? they were dealing with mentally unstable teenagers. those were probably the worst kind, being all angsty and everything. madison considered herself good though. the teenager was polite when dealing with adults and people in charge. making a good impression didn’t hurt anything.
“well that’s good,” she replied, actually meaning it. it was good that he wasn’t feeling like he was going to freak out on someone. well, no, he probably would feel that way soon. at least not happy. madi hated to upset him like that. why were these things so conflicting? her gaze turned downward towards the bleachers, a few second silence in between his question and her answer. “no. i didn’t trust the nurse handing them out.” that wasn’t why, but it made it sound better than saying she just didn’t want to. either way, the girl felt ashamed and a bit angry at herself. being good would be rewarded eventually. skipping your medicine was not considered good behavior. no one would know, but sawyer did and that was enough. he really mattered to her. it had seemed as though recently in her life, as in the past year and a half or so, it had become her job to let down the people that mattered the most to her.
you come along because i love your face ,
and i'll admire your expensive taste
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