around the clock /* caleb

[HOLLY-LYNN MOORE]

Holly missed New York…no, she really did. Even if she went back every time there was any type of Holiday imaginable. Everything was better there…she was always happier. How her daddy thought this place could possibly make her happier, she didn’t know. It depressed her…it was cold, and cloudy, and it rained too much. And she didn’t have as many friends as she had home…in New York, Holly was pretty…popular, for lack of better word. Most everyone knew exactly who she was…mostly for her dad’s reputation, of course, but she’s invented one of her own as well, even if it wasn’t exactly a good reputation like the one her father had…and there were cuter boys there, and it was easier to get into their pants. Here it was all flooded with insane guys who tried to kill you if you hit on them. It was insane. And lately she’d been missing someone she hadn’t even seen in so fucking long. They were friends when she was really young…for quite some time…and that last time she’d seen him she was, what, ten? Eleven? Even younger? The fact that she could even remember him was insane. She’d been so young…she was still a virgin. Ha. And so young that she honestly hadn’t thought about him in any way other than a very best friend…it was actually kind of sad how much she missed him. Back in New York she’d barely thought of him, but now that she was alone, missing friends…the only one she really wanted to see was him. Caleb. She couldn’t help but wonder what he was like now that he was all grown up…he’d been a few years older than her, and yet they’d been scary close. And she was perfectly aware that she was never going to see him again. Even if she found it incredibly sad.

Holly had always liked parks, though…back in New York she’d pretty much lived in Central Park. And now she actually found herself going to a little park around her school frequently, wishing it would magically turn into the overly busy central park she was used to. But of course it never really did. And yet she continued going back, no matter how the weather was, whenever she had nothing better to do. Which was frequently, because her social life was slowly evaporating…other than partying, which as better than ever. Or worse than ever, depending on your point of view. OF course this was why she ended up walking down there on this particular day…a lack of anything better to do. And the reason she was walking was because she couldn’t drive…she had several things to blame that little fact on. One being that she’d grown up in New York, where it was just easier to hop in a cab than try to get her license…and two, the only actual reason, because she’d tried to get it a million times and couldn’t. Because no matter how many people tried to teach her to drive, she literally could not. Her dad had tried a million times to teach her…several friends had, the actual people who were paid to teach had, she just couldn’t get it. And so she was stuck either walking around everywhere, hitch hiking, or taking a taxi. Or begging one of her friends for a ride. Ha. Usually the latter.

She was lonely, though…which was kind of why she liked the park. As she looked around she could see other people and pretend that she was in New York again. Even though people were much friendlier here…as long as she steered clear from the crazy ones. In New York everyone just ignored everyone else unless they knew him…and here everyone, all the sane ones, smiled at her. And of courses he always smiled back, no matter how unhappy she was. Holly was always kind of…distracted as she walked through the park. She probably looked like some kind of weird kid snatcher…even though she was only sixteen…and way too sexy to be a pedophile. Ha. But most other people there were with people, or a dog, or something, and she was just walking around. In one of her weird little outfits, looking even crazier than she was. And she frequently almost ran into people…literally…or tripped over dog leashes, or just random things, because she was incredibly clumsy anywhere but in bed. Ha. Which was why she sucked at dancing…which was why when she went out she usually just grinded on guys and called it a day. Faceless, nameless guys she’d never even see again. And just as she was thinking about this, of course, she bumped right into someone. Usually the person had the sense to move out of the way…this time she bumped right into whoever it was. And quickly stopped herself from falling. “Oops!” She replied, giggling as she caught her balance. “Sorry about that. I should have been watching where I was…” And then she trailed off. Because she actually looked at the face of the person she’d bumped into…and he looked familiar. She didn’t even know where from…and all she could really do was stare at him. Like a complete idiot. And for once she didn’t say anything.

STATUS , finished
WORDS , 957
TAGS , calebby <3
LYRICS , around the clock - the rocket summer
NOTES , LSDKJFLD SORRY THIS SUCKS. my house is so loud right now. i can barely concentrate. and sorry it's short. i fail.

[/justify][/blockquote]

[CALEB JOSHUA BECKETT]

To be honest, Caleb never thought he was screwed up. And neither did his parents. Growing up, he had practically been the perfect son; he did everything his parents told him to do, he wasn't a hassle to take care of, he was a pretty quiet kid who didn't need much and he was just an all-around nice kid. His grades were actually good and whenever his parents had one of those socialite parties or whatever, he dutifully went and was perfectly charming to all the guests, even though he was probably bored out of his mind. It was no surprise that his parents -- or more likely, his mom -- had some big plans for him. He was supposed to be this heir to whatever fortune his dad had, and was supposed to inherit the family business and take over. He would graduate in this respectable private school and then go to some fancy, prestigious university, major in business and he'd be the best son ever. Oh wait, then he had to marry some snobby rich girl his parents personally picked out for him... or something like that. Whatever. The point was, they had plans for him... plans that he didn't really have a problem following until...well, he realized he didn't want to do any of those things they wanted him to do. He didn't want to inherit the family business. He didn't want to major in business in some university in God-knows-the-fuck-where and he didn't want to marry any of those girls he was basically forced to be polite to. He wanted to be a musician after high school. He wanted to meet some girl somewhere along the lines and marry her. He wanted to be famous... but not the way his parents wanted him to be. And then... all of a sudden, he was just tired of it. He was tired of everything -- tired of being the perfect kid, tired of doing everything they wanted him to do without having a say in it, tired of letting them control his life... he wanted his own life. And naturally, when he told his parents, they had pretty much freaked out. Okay, his mom did. His dad was just all quiet, like he always was, and although he didn't say much, Caleb knew he would say the same thing his mom did. And he basically just had enough. Since then... he absolutely refused to go to any of those parties, refused to apply for any university and purposely failed most of his subjects so no college would take him. And it pretty much went downhill from there.

Because somewhere along the way... and he honestly didn't even know how it happened... his brain just snapped, or something went wrong or... whatever... because he just refused to eat. At all. He drank water, and ate a little, but that was it. He guessed it started when he refused to eat anything in the house and it just... he didn't even know, really. And his mom sent him here... to this fucked up place, a million miles away from New York and all his friends and practically any chance to become a famous. A school for insane people... practically an asylum when he thought about it. And God, he wasn't even half as insane as the people here. He just had some... issues, whatever those issues were. He didn't even know what they were, which frustrated his therapist to no end. Yes, he had his own therapist... not like the one the school had who smoked pot in front of the kids and stuff. His mom hired one for him... on his birthday. Which was really fucked up, to be honest. And now he had to spend every Sunday talking to her and answering her vague questions with equally vague answers. He didn't even know what the hell was wrong with him. How was he supposed to even answer anything...

God, he hated his life. He hated his controlling parents, and hated how he just let them do it all those years... if it weren't for them, he would probably be a lot happier. And sane. And he'd still be friends with Holly.... he didn't even know why she suddenly came up into his thoughts. He hadn't thought about her in ages.... but honestly, he hadn't forgotten her. They had been great friends... probably even best friends and she had been one of the very few people who actually saw him be all friendly and talkative and actually making jokes... and it was times like this that he really missed her. He missed how normal he felt with her, how... comfortable it was. If that made any sense. When he went to this school, it was like people automatically thought he was insane... unstable... and would act all weird around him. Which he hated. Of course, like all those other times with other girls, his mom hated her. And they had to move away. So he pretty much never saw her again... which sucked. Because he needed friends right now, whether he wanted to admit it to himself or not. And he needed someone like her... someone who made him forget his life was just fucked up. And before he could actually realize it because he was so deep in thought, he bumped into someone. He looked up, quick to apologize. "It's okay, it was probably my fault..." His voice trailed off when he saw who she was.
How was this... even possible right now? For awhile, he thought he was imagining things because it was too weird that he had just been thinking about her, and ten seconds later, there she was... standing right in front of him, all grown up. And looking... different. Very different. But a very good kind of different. And all he could do was stare back... because she had gotten really, really, really pretty. Then again, she always had been, come to think of it... but he was too young to realize it then. "Holly? It's me... Caleb. You do remember me, don't you?" God, he wished she would. If she didn't, this would be embarassing.

TAGGED
caleb'shollyhoe
STATUS
finishedbby
WORD COUNT
1107
NOTE
yayhalebbbbb<3

[HOLLY-LYNN MOORE]

This was honestly just…overwhelming. How had this even happened? How was she standing right in front of the guy she’d been thinking about more than ever lately? God, this was insane…it was fate, as weird as that probably was. For once she was getting to see all the millions of ways he was maturing and changing…god, it had been so long. He was taller, obviously, she noted…but not too tall, or anything like that. He’d matured…a lot. Even though he was still kind of the thing little boy she’d known back forever ago, he was a lot different. She couldn’t even believe he was right in front of her…was she seeing things, or something? She wouldn’t be surprised, really. She just seemed to be going crazier and crazier by the day, seeing people who weren’t there was probably the next step…but god, she’d bumped right into him. She could still feel the way his body had touched hers - and not in a perverted way. Yes, he was really there…how he was there she didn’t know…she didn’t even know if she wanted him to know why she was there…but god, she was the happiest she’d been in ages. Her dad had liked Caleb for the short amount of time that they’d been friends. He’d said he was a good kid, and came from a good family, and thoroughly approved…at least until his mother went insane and said they could no longer hang out. Which honestly depressed Holly for a while…and so her dad would rampage around the house, he and all of his jewish glory, and talk about how she was a no-good busy body or something. Holly never really listened to him, even if he probably meant to make her feel better, it actually made her feel worse. But god, right now, none of that even mattered. It was like it was all those years ago, and they were just picking up where they’d left off…wherever that had been. God, this was so surprising, and overwhelming…and perfect. It was like…someone had heard her thoughts and sent him here for her. God, she’d missed him so fucking much.

Holly didn’t really get attached to things all that easily. And if she did it was always a short lived attachment. But Caleb, really, was one of the few exceptions…even if it was weird. She’d never exactly cut the cord of that attachment. Her last boyfriend…was a guy named Ace. Their relationship hadn’t been anything special, really. She’d liked him a lot, he’d liked her…she cheated on him, and it was ended. She didn’t even really know who broke up with who, she didn’t even really care, it was over. And despite the fact that she’d liked him, she was happy. She’d moved on quickly, and now they were…kind of sort of friends. Sometimes. But Ace was like that with pretty much everyone, or so she’d noticed. So it was funny that Holly was still attached to Caleb like a child to a mother’s hip, despite the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in so fucking long…and yet she hadn’t been to anyone else, not even her last boyfriend. One of her few boyfriends, mind you. The only person she was really this attached to was her dad…not her mom. Holly wished she could be attached to her mom…but fuck, it was hard when the woman hadn’t seen her in half a year. And hadn’t called her once during that time, oh no, Holly always had to do the honors. And the shrinks her father had sent her to all said the same thing: that it was her mother’s fault, to keep her away from her mother. Which her mother had no issue with, and her father tried to do…but god, not seeing her mother made Holly sad. And so she’d actually took a fucking bus to see her mother on her last birthday, and was upset to see that her mother had a new boyfriend. And she kept finding her mother’s phone number, despite her father’s best efforts to hide it…she just didn’t see how not being able to speak to her mother was supposed to help her any. So okay, maybe she was attached to her mother, in sick way.

For a moment Holly was completely speechless, just looking at him, barely even taking in what he was saying…god, was he even going to recognize her? She knew it was him, no doubts about that…he had the same eyes…and face…and she couldn’t help but note that he still had those awkwardly long fingers that didn’t even fit the rest of her body. And god, she’d missed him so much. It wasn’t until he asked if she remembered him that Holly found her voice…and was able to move again. She let out a loud laugh and quickly threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, and kissing him on the cheek. Not even thinking about the fact that some people didn’t like to be touched like that…and she hadn’t seen him in so long. She hardly knew what he wanted. But she was Holly, and so it didn’t even matter. “Of course I remember you.” She said, pulling away from the embrace…before she was really satisfied. God, she just wanted to hug him forever and ever. To make up for all the lost time. “God, what are you doing here? I’m so happy to see you, though. I missed you so much. Is your mom here? Should I be worried? God, I missed you.” She was pretty much rambling…but that was pretty much normal for Holly. She stopped talking for a minute and just looked him over once more, in a more slow way than she had previously…there was something different about him. She couldn’t put her finger on it. “God, you’re all grown up!” She said suddenly, laughing and reaching forward to ruffle his hair in a playful way. “And so handsome. What happened to my awkward little Caleb?” She was definitely being too touchy…even more touchy than she usually was. And with that she dropped her arm down by her side and took a step back, letting out a bit of a laugh that would have been described as awkward had anyone else used it…god, she missed him. So fucking much. But at the same time...she didn't want him to see her here...at this school..."crazy". But at the moment she couldn't quite bring herself to care.

STATUS , finished
WORDS , 1223
TAGS , calebby <3
LYRICS , around the clock - the rocket summer
NOTES , YAY, my muse is finally kind of almost back. and i legit love haleb. js.

[/justify][/blockquote]

[CALEB JOSHUA BECKETT]

Caleb wasn't one to believe in fate, that everything that happened to someone was meant to happen. Because really, if that were true, what was the point in even having free will? Unless even if decisions were meant to be made. Or something like that. The point was, it was kind of hard to believe in fate... or destiny... or whatever else it was called. And he didn't believe in soul mates either. Really, in a world of two billion people, how was he supposed to believe that he was meant to be with just one person out of that two billion? He didn't even get how it worked... not that he ever bothered to understand it. As far as he was concerned, you met someone you really liked, to the point that you loved that said person, you got married, had kids and if you're lucky, you grow old together. Then you die. That was supposed to be all there was to it. Which was pretty much why he refused to watch lame romance movies. It was just a waste of time in his opinion. But he was seriously rethinking his whole stand on fate now... all because out of the blue, Holly suddenly showed up. For awhile, he thought his brain had really cracked and was now hallucinating things because how weird was it that he had started to think about her just then and he honestly hadn't thought about her in years... and then she suddenly appeared, out of nowhere. Was she here for vacation or something? Or had she somehow found out that he was going to school here? A part of him hoped she didn't... because then she'd find out he was going to some school for the insane, and the last thing he wanted was for her to think he was weird and had issues. And besides, he highly doubted that she actually went off to look for him after he moved away... if anything, he wouldn't at all be surprised if she hated him forever for suddenly leaving. He didn't give her much of a warning, to be honest. He simply disappeared... so when she hugged him like that, it had pretty much surprised the hell out of him. But then again, Holly had always been full of surprises. That much he could remember and was sure of from the short time that they were friends. Really, he could remember it like it just happened minutes ago.

Caleb had always been kind of shy and he wasn't one to walk up to a random person and started saying hi and talking animatedly like he had known the guy all his life. That was more of Dallas. He was the kind of person who waited until someone actually talked to him, and even then... when he was finally spoken to, he would still find it kind of difficult to talk. Not that he had some kind of weird complex or something. He was just rather shy and awkward, thanks. But much to his surprise, Holly was the one person whom he acted differently around. She had actually gone up to him, given him a hug and said she wanted to be friends. And even though at the time, he still thought that girls were icky, he said he wanted to be friends too. And that was that. After that hug, it had just been really easy for them, especially him. He finally had someone he could be noisy and annoying with. He was like everyone else; he yelled a lot, played games with her and wasn't awkward. It was like he knew her all his life. And he had no idea why, but that couldn't be coincidence right? It just couldn't be because he hadn't met anyone else who had that same effect on him... and he had tried looking. It just didn't happen with anyone else. And on the few occasions that he brought Holly over and his dad saw them together, his dad actually said he liked her. It was pretty hard not to like Holly... which was why often wondered how his mom could possibly do it. But he knew it was hard to please his father, so when he actually said that he liked Holly... that meant a lot. But not enough to convince his mom that moving was just a bad idea. Then again, he probably just did everything she told him to do. God, he hated his mom. She ruined everything that was good in his life.

But she was back now... she was here. And she was real. And he wasn't imagining things... she was actually laughing and hugging him tightly, like years of not seeing each other didn't matter. She had even gone as far as kissing his cheek and even he felt the sparks... sparks. Well, that was just another stupid concept wasn't it? Sparks. Chemistry. Fireworks. He thought it was just a lie... like the whole fate thing... something that hopeless romantics came up with to make things sound better than they actually were. But God, there was no denying it and he was so surprised -- more at the sparks rather than at her, because he knew she had always been rather touchy -- that he froze for a few seconds, until he finally found it in himself to actually wrap his arms around her and pull her close. God, this felt.... right. There was no other way to describe it... to just hold her like this and suddenly feeling a million times better, and feeling as though nothing could go wrong... how was this even possible? Really? He couldn't help but beam at her when she said she still remembered him. How could he possibly forget her... Forget that blonde hair, that cheerful smile only she could give, those eyes... It was impossible. His smile widened even more when she started rambling. God, she was still as adorable as ever. He loved that about her. He pulled her into another hug, burying his face into the crook of her neck. "Still so talkative..." he mumbled before pulling away a bit, just so he could answer her questions. "I'm going to school here... I live in the dorms... and don't worry, my mom is miles away. And even if she wasn't, I don't really care about what she says anymore. I wish I didn't before... we could still be friends now."] And probably a lot more. But he chose to ignore that insane thought. Why was he even thinking that now? He was just happy to see her. Really. He squirmed uncomfortably at her compliment; he wasn't very good at receiving them, but even so, he still smiled a little awkwardly at her. "You look amazing, Holly. Really. You're... a lot prettier now. Not that you weren't before. You were. Not that I was noticing or anything... I'll shut up now." He trailed off embarassingly, reaching up to scratch his head. "I've missed you, too. You don't even know. How are you? What are you doing here?" And he probably just talked more right now than he ever did for months.

TAGGED
caleb'shollyhoe
STATUS
finishedbby
WORD COUNT
1281
NOTE
yayhalebbbbb<3

[HOLLY-LYNN MOORE]

For someone who acted so happy all the time, she was surprisingly not…that happy. It was all kind of a show she put on, so people didn’t feel bad for her. Despite her money and her epic father, there were actually quite a few reasons someone might. Her mother, being one…her alcoholic flake of a mother. And then there were her mental issues, her schooling situation, the fact that she only saw her daddy on vacations because he was way back in New York…god, why couldn’t he have sent her to somewhere for fucked up people just a little closer to home? And then there was her drinking problem, the one she refused to admit she had, her drug problem, the one she was deeply ashamed of…and her situation with men. It might not have seemed that bad to some…she was young, she was playing the fields. Only she wasn’t. Wasn’t that dating? Yeah, Holly didn’t date. Most of the guys she slept with were, quite honestly, total skum bags…and in the morning when she woke up next to them, they sickened her. To the point where she would get mad at herself for being so fucking stupid…and on occasion she’d…hurt herself. But that was completely beyond the point. She was actually doing a lot better, at least on that front…though it was possibly because her school tried to keep her away from sharp objects. Although they didn’t exactly do the best job of keeping her away from drugs and alcohol, so they obviously weren’t doing their job right. And quite honestly, here, with her childhood friend she hadn’t seen in years…she was the happiest she’d been in ages. She was pretty much bordering on ecstatic, and in this moment, meeting him in the park quite accidentally, she was almost back to her old self. The self she’d been before her father had sent her to this school…and before she kept “forgetting” to take her numerous depression medications. Truthfully Holly was a very forgetful person…because her mind was one tracked, and she was quite the air head. She often times forgot to eat and ended up only having a meal a day…and more times than not she’d forget her own birthday if people weren’t showering her in presents and nice words. Although her birthday surprises weren’t’ quite as nice here as they were back in New York…but her daddy was usually nice enough to ask the school to let her go home for a week during her birthday, which was usually the best week of her life. But of course that’s all completely besides the point.

The point is, Caleb made her happy, even if she’d only seen him for a few moments…she couldn’t help but wonder if his mom hadn’t ruined everything, if any of this would have happened. Not that she was blaming anyone, but god. He made her happy…if he’d been around maybe she wouldn’t have started drinking and doing drugs and…everything else. Admittedly it had happened after her grandfather died when she was about fourteen. She hadn’t known what to do. Her father had thrown him into his work…her mother was nowhere to be seen…and she ended up picking up some new “friends” who taught her about things she never even would have known about, despite the fact that she lost her virginity a year earlier. Things like drugs and alcohol…and not just a beer or a joint. Hardcore things. And the weird thing? She really wasn’t a huge slut when she wasn’t completely high or drunk. She’d lost her virginity at an early age because it had seemed like the right thing to do until the guy, who’d been a year or two older, had left her for someone his own age. And she hadn’t had sex again until she was fourteen, nearly fifteen…and she’d been completely drunk off her ass. And then after that it just kept happening, because sadly enough, in the moments where it was happening…she always felt great. And alive, and wanted…and Holly, quite honestly, loved nothing more than feeling wanted. It was almost enough to make up for the horrible feeling she felt in the morning…and it wasn’t just a hangover, thank you very much. Pot could usually get rid of a bad hangover, as odd as some people found that little relivation. Ha. It was the feeling that…she was the dirtiest person on earth…and no matter how wanted she was, she was completely alone. And it didn’t help matters that none of the guys ever tried to stop her as she quickly got dressed and left the room without another word. Because she always secretly wanted one of them to…for one of them to ask for her number, or if they could see her again, or something. Just like every other girl on the face of the world, she just wanted to find The One, as completely corny as that was. And as weird, or obsessive, or even bordering stalkery as it was…in this moment, she almost felt like Caleb was The One.

And the fact that he seemed equally happy to see her made her even happier…and it made her feel wanted, in a completely different way than all those strangers she slept with. In a better way. Truly. Feeling him so close to her…it was the best feeling ever. Feeling him pull her into a hug…which was still familiar after all those years…or feeling his face against her neck…which wasn’t, but still felt so amazing. She didn’t even know what to think about any of this…other than that she was so happy it was insane. The smile on her face literally would not remove itself…and for once it didn’t feel forced…god, he was amazing. He hadn’t changed a bit…and she loved him. Really loved him. How had she managed to survive without him for all this time? Still, hearing his mom wasn’t anywhere near was a relief…even if feeling him pull away a bit to answer her question wasn’t. She liked feeling him close to her…having him touch her…god, what was even going on with her? “We can still be friends now.” She said firmly, smiling at him sweetly and reaching down to hold his hands, tangling their fingers together…just because feeling his skin against hers felt amazing. “Nothing has to change. It can be just like it was when we were younger…only we’re older now…” And okay, she wanted it to be more now. But whatever. As long as she had him as a friend she was completely happy. But he was so fucking adorable…the way he seemed awkward as she gave him compliments…it only made her love him even more. The way he rambled about her being pretty…he was the sweetest guy on earth. She’d missed him so much. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” She said teasingly, kissing him on the cheek once more…just because she liked the sparks it made…even if she was pretty sure she was only imagining them. “I’m…good.” She said, feeling a little guilty for lying to him…but it was for his own benefit. Really. She didn’t want him knowing how screwed up she was. “I’m actually going to school here too…living in the dorms…” She trailed off, biting her lip. What was the chances of them going to the same school? Slim, she was pretty sure…what could he possibly be there for? Caleb wasn’t crazy…and even if he was she loved him. “So you're going to Fitzgerald too?” She asked, feeling kind of embarrassed…which was kind of new for her…but god, if he wasn’t she’d feel embarrassed because she didn‘t want him to know how crazy she was. And if he was it would be the best thing ever…because they could spend a lot of time together. So much he got sick of her.

STATUS , finished
WORDS , 1457
TAGS , calebby <3
LYRICS , around the clock - the rocket summer
NOTES , halebbbb <3

[/justify][/blockquote]

[CALEB JOSHUA BECKETT]

As much as Caleb hated to admit it, the one thing he probably had in common with his mother was the fact that he didn’t like anyone to know that he had issues and was currently going to some boarding school in the middle of nowhere, with other people who had issues like he did… only ten times worse. Really, he felt as though he was going to get murdered just by walking down the hallway sometimes. It wasn’t exactly something he wanted to tell people, especially his friends back home in New York. No one would understand why… okay fine, maybe he didn’t really understand either but he was sure they wouldn’t want to be friends with him anymore. They would brand him weird and insane, like everyone else in the school and that was that. Because really, it was admittedly rare to find a guy who had some kind of eating disorder or something. He didn’t even know what it was, to be honest. He wasn’t doing it for the attention, and he surely wasn’t doing it to lose weight or anything. God, that didn’t even make any sense. He just… didn’t want to. And he had no idea why. And he honestly didn’t expect anyone else that once knew him to understand what was going on. They had always figured Caleb to be some kind of… great kid. Perfect son, perfect everything. He was smart, he came from a respectable family and he was probably going places… had he not decided to have a mind of his own and pretty much “ruin his life”, according to his mother. Which he didn’t, thank you very much. She did that herself. She was the one who took him out of that music program in the first place. And she was also the one who made him lose his childhood friend… the one person who actually understood him, made him happier… and just made it a lot easier for him to be noisy and annoying and… be like the dorky kid that he was. But no one understood that, especially not his mother. It was never because she made him happy, or because they had an amazing friendship. Oh no. He didn’t even know why she hated Holly so much. Holly came from a really good family, and had this huge, loud and bossy dad who basically told him he was short and made him do things for him… but he was nice, nonetheless. And he sincerely seemed to love Holly… something Caleb never felt or saw with his own parents. His mom was just bordering… God knows what. And his dad was just… unfeeling. He didn’t exactly show any emotion towards him, to be honest. Which was kind of sad… and he didn’t really think about any of this before… not until he got to Fitzgerald, had nothing to do and started thinking things… God, he hated that place.

Which was pretty much why he used every opportunity he had to get out. He hated how suffocated it made him feel, or how uncomfortable and weird it felt… or how he just seemed to remember every shitty part of his life when he was there. Really, Caleb had considered purposely failing his subjects, or being exceptionally rude to the teachers, or purposely breaking the rules just so they would kick him out and he wouldn’t have to stay there anymore. He honestly saw no reason why he should even be there… he hated everything and everyone. He hardly talked to anyone, just because he saw no reason why he should bother to and he felt as though the longer he stayed here, the more prone he was to… going truly insane like the rest of them. But he had a reason now… Holly was here. With him. He knew that now. And she would make this place a million times better, and a billion times more bearable. Because she was practically his best friend… and he loved her. How? He wasn’t even sure. He loved her like a best friend should… maybe even like a sister to him… but that was it. Right? Right. It couldn’t be anything else… even if… seeing her right now made him feel weird butterflies in the pit of his stomach, or made him feel happier than he had ever been in years, or… like… everything was right. For once. Even if he had issues with himself, or that he wasn’t able to go to music school and he probably never would be able to, even if his life was just so messed up… standing here, hugging her and probably looking very much like a couple even if they weren’t… it just felt right. Like nothing was wrong with his life and everything was perfect. God, how did that even happen with her? It didn’t even make much sense, to be honest.

Caleb had never been the kind of guy who was into romance. Sure, he might not have a problem with dating, or relationships or commitment… but he wasn’t romantic with them. He was the first to admit that. He would take them out to see a movie, or take a walk somewhere and eat or whatever, maybe hold her hand, kiss the girl once in awhile and that was it. As far as he was concerned, there were no sparks or fireworks or chemistry or whatever the hell they called it. It was just… dating. Which kind of sounded harsh, now that he thought about it, but whatever. But… he had never known any of those existed until with Holly right now. And it really didn’t make any sense why all of a sudden, he was starting to feel all those fucking sparks people kept talking about, now that she was letting him hold her this way, or intertwine her fingers with his, or kiss his cheek… he kept telling himself it was only because he hadn’t seen her in years. It was that whole proximity thing. And that… he hadn’t had a girlfriend in weeks. Which also meant that he hadn’t had sex in weeks… but what-fucking-ever. The point was… there was a perfectly logical explanation for those butterflies at the pit of his stomach, or how he suddenly felt all… weird. That was the only way to describe it because he couldn’t think of how else he could; weird. But a good kind of weird. He couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of annoyance when she mentioned that nothing between them had to change and they were just friends… but like always, he was quick to dismiss that feeling and ignore it. It was nothing. Really. “Good… because it is a compliment,” he told her with a small smile, kissing the top of her head and holding her close. “I’ve really missed you, Holly. You have no idea.” Holding her like this felt… nice. It felt unlike anything else with other girls… which didn’t make any sense, really. He couldn’t help but raise his brows at her at the mention of Fitzgerald. “I am… wait, are you going there too?” His voice suddenly switched to concern. “What’s wrong with you? Is everything okay? Are you okay? What happened?”

TAGGED
caleb'shollyhoe
STATUS
finishedbby
WORD COUNT
1295
NOTE
thiskindoffailsithinksrrybbygurl. D:

[HOLLY-LYNN MOORE]

To be honest, this wasn’t really exactly how Holly had imagined seeing Caleb again after all this time would be…and yes, she had imagined it happening, sadly enough, because she was really just that pathetic. She’d always kind of thought…it would be back in New York, or something, and that she definitely wouldn’t be considered mentally unstable. She’d hopefully be long graduated from her school, or at least sane enough that her dad let her leave…not like…this. Drinking every single night until she passed out, usually in someone else’s bed, sleeping with anything that told her she had a pretty face, even doing drugs…all things that would have utterly revolted her back when she was friends with Caleb. Actually, she’d been so young she probably hadn’t even known about all of that. So somehow when she saw her meeting up with Caleb again, after all those years, everything was always perfect. They didn’t bump into each other, or have that half a second of silence before they recognized each other. It had always happened in the middle of the city, and it was always busy, and there had always been a million people around…and yet his face was always the one that stood out. That was how it always happened in her mind. And the two of them would just run up to each other and start laughing and talking and hugging and leaving off exactly where they’d left things…their friendship had always been perfect, really. It had been easy, even though they’d both kind of been at awkward stages in their life, and had a bit of an age difference. She could actually remember meeting him as clear as anything, despite how long ago it was, how young they were. His family had actually be invited to one of her father’s little “dinner parties”, back before his mother started disapproving of her of course, and they’d been pretty much the only kid there. And somehow she’d started talking to him, and dragged him off to her room to show off her new walls, which were painted yellow. Which would give anyone but Holly a head ache, but she loved them…and they only stayed that color for a week before her dad started talking about how she needed to change it because he couldn’t stand being in her room when it was that color. And somehow, in that short amount of time before her dad had came up and told her she needed to go back downstairs and stop fooling around, she’d managed to open up the shy boy, and they’d just been friends ever since. At least until his mother ruined everything.

But it didn’t even matter that their reuniting wasn’t under the most…favorable circumstances. As long as it happened she was happy…and god, he hadn’t changed a bit. Despite the amount he’d grown he was still the same, she could tell after only a few moments of seeing him. He was still slightly awkward at receiving compliments, and didn’t seem to mind when she touched him…instead he seemed to like it, unlike a lot of people who got stiff and nervous. And it still felt the same to touch him…only different…because there were added things…like sparks. Sparks she’d never really experienced with anyone else, with everyone else it was just fucking and done. There weren’t even time for sparks…she was never sober enough to notice them if they were even there. And he still seemed kind of quiet, even if she’d always had a strange ability to make him open up…really, the fact that he had opened up again so quickly to her was kind of surprising. She’d seen him talk to other people…she knew he wasn’t even close to the way he was around her, which had always kind of made her happy. He seemed to be able to relax more….and talk more…and why his mother didn’t like that, she honestly didn’t know. He seemed happier around her, didn’t he? She made him happy…or at least she had back in the day, and she was sure she could do it again given the chance. And she was ninety percent sure that she was going to be given the chance…because he honestly seemed to want to be her friend again, seemed like he’d missed her just as much as she had him. He wasn’t pushing her away, or saying their friendship had been years ago, that it was over now, that she didn’t matter…and a part of her had kind of been expecting him to. If anything he seemed to be pulling her closer, which as proof that it did matter…that she wasn’t just imagining the sparks, or how comfortable it felt to be held in his arms, because if all of this was one sided…she didn’t know what she’d do. But honestly, what was she expecting to happen past this? They’d just be friends with a weird chemistry, right? Even if the thought of being more appealed to her…it wouldn’t work. They were wrong for each other that way, were they not? Polar opposites last time she checked…and unless he’d changed that much they still would be.

But it was hard not to want him when he was right in front of her, so fucking close she could smell him…when he was holding her, and kissing the top of her head, and talking quietly to her…somewhere in the back of her pathetic little mind she already felt like they were together. And she knew that none of this could be one sided, really…he seemed to be enjoying it just as much as she was…but what would happen after this little meeting? They’d never speak again? They’d exchange phone numbers and have a few awkward conversations before falling out? Although, knowing Holly and the fact that she went for everything she wanted heads on, it wouldn’t be anything like that. She wouldn’t let it. She wanted to be friends with him again, possibly more in the future…but at the same time she didn’t want to rush into being possibly more. Not when she didn’t even know what he wanted, or if the sparks she was feeling radiating through her body were imaginary. But god, it was hard to think that she was imagining them when she felt his lips pressed against the top of her head…which she was pretty sure he’d never done before, but hoped he did a million more times. “This feels nice…” She murmured, clinging to him as close as he possibly could, and closing her eyes. In this moment she didn’t feel like just another crazy person going to a school for crazy kids…she felt like…Holly. Again. It was perfect. But of course she was quickly snapped out of all of these feelings, the feelings of easy, when he asked what was wrong with her. Why she was going there. And sounded concerned…and god, she didn’t want to answer him. She didn’t want him to know how fucked up she was, that her dad, the guy who loved her more than anything had sent here there. But at the same time she couldn’t lie to him. “I…really don’t know.” That much wasn’t exactly a lie. “They say I drink too much…and do other bad things…and I’m bi polar or something, I don’t know, that part confuses me…” This was all pretty much stuff she’d never admit to anyone else. Which was why she quickly buried her face in his neck, breathing in his scent. “Why are you there?” She mumbled, pulling away so she could be heard.

STATUS , finished
WORDS , 1402
TAGS , calebby <3
LYRICS , around the clock - the rocket summer
NOTES , yours was good. this is slightly failtastic.

[/justify][/blockquote]

[CALEB JOSHUA BECKETT]

It was kind of sad how despite Caleb’s numerous ex-girlfriends – he didn’t know the exact number because he didn’t keep track but he knew there was a lot of them… not because he was some kind of stud or anything; he supposed it was just refreshing for a girl to see a guy who didn’t have problems with commitment and relationships and it was somewhat appealing or something to that extent – he had never loved any of them. Okay, maybe he thought he did at the time, but whenever the almost and practically inevitable time came that they had to break up, he honestly didn’t feel all that bad. He didn’t even feel bad about it at all… it was like… having someone accidentally step on your toe and you shrugging it off. Okay, that was a horrible metaphor but you get my point. He wasn’t bothered with it at all. He didn’t mope around, hate anyone or even get just a little bit pissed. It was either he said that he wanted to break up and he patiently waited until she stopped freaking out or crying and then he walked away… or he was the one who was listening to the break-up speech, which he honestly was only too glad to hear sometimes… just so he wouldn’t always have to be the one to do the dirty work or something. And not that kind of dirty. He wasn’t a fan of break-up sex, thanks. Once he broke up with a girl, that was pretty much it for him. He made sure to cut off all ties with her, no matter how much he may have liked or possibly for a brief moment loved her. The way he saw it, he just didn’t want the awkwardness that came with the friendship. Really, no matter how many times people said that it was still possible to be friends with someone he broke up with, it just didn’t work out… no matter how much he may have wanted to still be friends with her. Oh yes, he tried and it was just too weird to even have a functional kind of friendship. It got awkward; conversations that were supposed to be friendly almost always ended up in stupid arguments about how their relationship wasn’t working out, and blaming each other for the break-up and moments that were supposed to be friendly ended up feeling like it was weird and almost too like a relationship for him to feel comfortable with. And it was that idea in his head that he broke up with his last girlfriend… who surprisingly, lasted for a little over a year… which was just amazing, especially for relationships these days. People who knew them back home were surprised; they had expected she and Caleb to last forever, to be like one of those couples that people always knew would never break up despite anything… and it didn’t. He didn’t really blame them… he had actually considered asking her to marry him for what, three seconds before he mentally slapped himself. He knew he didn’t love her enough to that… despite the length of time that they were together. And yes, Caleb still believed in the nice kind of love that should exist in marriages, despite everything he had seen with his own parents’ marriage. It was obviously a moment of stupidity to consider the idea of marriage; it just felt right at the time… and not the nice kind of right… it was more of an obliged kind of right. Like… it was the step that was supposed to come next or something.

And so like with every other girl he broke up with and broke up with him, he patiently let her cry it out, call him an asshole for letting her waste over a year with him when she wasn’t even happy – he couldn’t help but feel a bit smug at this point; so he wasn’t really alone with the feeling that he wasn’t happy – and when she was done calling him names, he told her it had been a nice year and he left… which, come to think of it, kind of sounded like a business partnership more than a relationship, but whatever. Everyone expected him to mope around, like a normal human being… who had emotions and felt bad whenever he broke up with someone. Only he wasn’t. He went back to his life of not listening to his mother, screwing up most of life and letting something in his brain snap and winding up here… in the middle of nowhere. And of course, everyone thought that his break-up was the reason for his sudden and unexpected downward spiral, but God, it wasn’t even close. He didn’t even care. And he should probably be telling people that but he didn’t bother to… mainly because no would really believe him anyway… or believe in the idea that he was actually more relieved than anything else that he broke up with her. How could he not be relieved? He wasn’t happy with her. A relationship that lasted more than the usual two months was supposed to be happy… otherwise, there would be no point of actually being in a relationship… only it wasn’t. He felt more obliged with her than anything… like he was supposed to hold her hand, or hug her, kiss her, tell her he loved her even if he secretly didn’t… and not because he wanted to. God, he never felt that way before… with any of his relationships… so why was he feeling it now with Holly?

Really, this was just too weird, even for him. He was suddenly wanting a lot of things with her… things that didn’t even enter his mind with the rest of his ex-girlfriends. Which was just weird, right? He wanted to hold her hand, hug her… kiss her even. Tell her he loved her… and God, this was just insane. He knew he had always loved her… like a little sister, his dearest and best friend in the whole world and entertaining another kind and completely different kind of love should be wrong… but how was it even possible that it didn’t feel wrong? He knew it was wrong… that he shouldn’t… but it was there… there was no denying it, the way he found it so hard to pull away… the way he just wanted to keep holding her against him like… this was something else entirely. Wasn’t it one? Or was this still one of those friendly hugs with her? God, he had no idea, really. And this was honestly the first time he felt confused about anything. He was quiet for a few moments with what she said… he wasn’t entirely sure of what to say to her. He was surprised yes… very surprised and he knew there were words to say – the right kind of words that was supposed to make this right – but he couldn’t say it. He didn’t know how. And instead, all he could do was whisper something even he wasn’t expecting himself to say to her… much less aloud. “I love you Holly… no matter what.” And it was the truth. He didn’t care about what she did, whatever sickness she had… he didn’t give a shit. They didn’t make up who she was and it didn’t matter. He smiled wistfully at her question. “I wouldn’t eat… I’m not trying to… lose weight or anything. I just… wouldn’t. I don’t know why.” He shrugged as though it was nothing. “Is it bad if I say I’m kind of glad that there’s something wrong with me, because you’re around now?”

TAGGED
caleb'shollyhoe
STATUS
finishedbby
WORD COUNT
1383
NOTE
i love haleb. <333333

[HOLLY-LYNN MOORE]

Love was definitely an overused word in Holly’s pathetic excuse of a vocabulary…so needless to say when it got said to her she didn’t even give it a second thought. It was just a word, it hardly had a meaning anymore, at least to her. But for some reason when Caleb said it to her…it did. Just like it actually had a meaning when she thought it about him. Because she really did love him…not like those people she threw herself at when she was drunk, or her friends, or her father, or the brother that she didn’t even have…she loved him like…she didn’t even know. It was completely foreign to her, truly. She wasn’t even thinking about having sex with him…she was content just being held by him…or holding hands, or kissing…although she was still Holly, and the concept of sex with Caleb was still appealing, of course. And there was no denying that hearing him say that he loved her…that he’d love her no matter what, even if he’s whispered it, made her feel completely and utterly happy. Even if she looked more shocked than anything else. No one had ever said it like him…no one ever said it when she told them what was wrong with her, mainly because no one ever cared enough to ask what was wrong with her. And no one ever looked like he did when he’d said it. Her father said it…in a gruff but loving kind of way. Her mother…she didn’t even know if her mother had. Several pathetic guys had when she was blowing them, or pleasuring them in numerous ways that aren’t exactly PG-13, and her friends did when she told a funny joke and they were laughing. It was different. It didn’t even count…not the way it did when Caleb said it and looked at her like that…they were so close. Mentally and physically. She could feel it. She’d honestly never felt this way with anyone…not even her few previous ex boyfriends, or guys she’d actually thought she liked. See, the thing about Holly was she always ended up disregarding guys who actually liked her…and falling for guys who weren’t into her for some reason or another. Most of them just wanted sex, or something, which was just chalk full of irony. Of course none of it really affected her…she didn’t have the attention span to be interested in guys for more than a few weeks, really. But for some reason she knew she could be interested in Caleb for longer than that…maybe because she had been for years…even before she was old enough to actually be interested in guys in that way…even when his mother had them separated for years. They just had…something. Something that she couldn’t even begin to explain to herself, much less anyone else.

What had she expected to be wrong with him, though? She didn’t know…he’d always seemed to stable to her. He seemed stable right now. Back when they were younger he’d been shy, and sweet, and he had been tough to bring out of his shell, really. Somehow she managed, but she didn’t think anyone else ever had…or maybe she just hoped no one else ever had. Maybe he just had a slight mental issue as well…or maybe he was depressed like her and they could bond over that. She couldn’t see him stealing things, his family had good money, nor could she see him getting into drugs or drinking, or any sort of addiction…he definitely didn’t strike her as a sex addict…he had yet to try and get into her pants, even if she kind of wanted him to. Ha. And yet for some reason the fact that he actually had an eating disorder surprised her even more than him saying that he loved her…and would no matter what. But of course it didn’t make her love him any less…if anything it made her love him more…because at least he was at least slightly dysfunctional. They were perfect together. Both fuck ups. And honestly, she didn’t understand what he meant…why would he just not eat if not to lose weight? Okay, fine, she often times forgot to eat…because she was easily distracted by things and it just slipped her mind until someone was yelling at her to eat. That was just Holly. She didn’t see why he’d just…stop like that. She couldn’t help but look at him slowly, noting that he did look kind of thin…which her dad would definitively make fun of. And his height, even though Holly had always loved that he wasn’t that much taller than her. A couple of inches at most…but at least she could see his eyes without having to stand on her tip toes. Though she’d probably never be able to wear heels on dates…wait, what? Now she was thinking about having dates with him? What the hell was wrong with her? How had the suddenly been reduced to this? She was pretty much day dreaming about dates with him…or at least thinking about them. Dates were usually something she avoided…but dates with Caleb didn’t seem so bad. They could go out and eat dinner, or something, and hold hands, and then after she could ask him to go back to her place…god, why was she thinking about this? It was extremely creepy. Really. She didn’t even want dating him to be like that…she wanted it to be…different. Like on one of those ridiculously corny movies where they could just lay around and she’d attempt to make cookies but end up burning them and she’d get all stressed out and he’d just laugh and then they’d have epic sex. Or something. Or maybe she was being a bit too detailed with her expectations of their metaphorical relationship.

For a moment Holly just looked at him, frowning a little bit, and then she wrapped her arms around him tightly, sighing lightly as she buried her face into his chest. “You need to eat.” She said in a caring way, her fingers slipping up under his shirt…just enough to run over his hips and then she just hugged him once more, looking up at him...which wasn’t that hard because of their lack of height difference. “If you don’t my dad’s going to make fun of you for being short and thin. Not that I mind. I like it. It’s kind of sexy…” She was only teasing, of course. But she sighed lightly and detangled herself from their embrace, instead reaching to hold his hands, tangling their fingers…because it just felt nice. She wished she could hold his hands under difference circumstances…and do more than just hold hands or hug. She did that with everyone…even though it felt different when she did it with him. More affectionate, less friendly. It was funny how holding hands with him made her feel better than sex with any guy ever could. “I love you too, though. No matter what. I don’t even care if you don’t eat. Really. I don’t know how I...survived without you.” She had honestly been about to say she didn’t know how she stayed sane without him, but since she hadn’t exactly done that it might not have such a nice effect. “We’re going to be so close again. We can be best friends. Just like old times.” She promised him, smiling sweetly and kissing his cheek once again…just because eit felt nice.

STATUS , finished
WORDS , 1382
TAGS , calebby <3
LYRICS , around the clock - the rocket summer
NOTES , word count fail. haleb > the afterlife.

[/justify][/blockquote]

[CALEB JOSHUA BECKETT]

From what Caleb could remember from his brief friendship with Holly… well… he remembered everything, to be honest. It was funny how that happened sometimes; like, it was so easy to forget things that happened recently, but he could never forget anything about his friendship with her… not that he ever tried to forget. That would just be insane… he was a million times happier with her than with anyone else. He didn’t even know how it happened really… it just happened. They got along and she made him laugh and play pranks on all their parents’ friends during parties they were both forced to attend… and all those other fun stuff he would have never done had it been with someone else. He had no idea what it was with her that made him all different… not a bad kind of different. God no. A very good kind of different… the kind of different he hadn’t been in a long time, to be honest. And he was feeling it again; the wide smile on his face that he was sure hadn’t crossed it in years, or the huge butterflies at the pit of his stomach, like… well, it should have felt with other girls. Only it never did and he felt nothing for the poor girls, except Holly… whom he didn’t date, of course. They were both still so young and he was pretty sure he was at the stage of his life that he was only starting to recognize girls and realize they weren’t all that bad. Except that the butterflies were there… they always had been, and it always confused him. He didn’t know how to act around her when it was just the two of them… sure he laughed and talked a lot but more often than not, he just felt… weird around her. It wasn’t the bad kind of weird… it was an unfamiliar kind of weird that he couldn’t really explain. It was like everything he did, he tried to do for her… because she might like it, or she’d be impressed or… something. It just had to have something to do… if that even made any sense. It probably doesn’t. And usually, whenever she looked extra-pretty, for some reason, he just forgot whatever he was supposed to say at the time and he’d just smile at her and let her do most of the talking, something she probably didn’t even mind doing… or notice, for that matter. Obviously, at the time, he had no idea what it all meant and he thought it was just him being… strange, or something. But now that he was older and he didn’t think girls were gross and had had sex already… looking back at it, he automatically knew it wasn’t just any other kind of feeling. He liked Holly. It was so fucking obvious.

Of course, the operative word there was “liked” because he couldn’t possibly be feeling it again now. He hadn’t seen her in years. The last time he had seen her, he was almost six inches taller than her and now, there was only a small height difference between them. It had been so long ago, those feelings should have been forgotten, to be honest… but they were back. And to be frank, they were even harder to ignore now that he knew what they meant and he wasn’t a confused kid anymore. But all these nerves, the lack of right things to say or things to say at all, the weird butterflies at the pit of his stomach …. He had no idea where they came from. He hadn’t felt this way in years… not since Holly. He sincerely thought it was nothing but some childhood crush that would eventually disappear. Only it didn’t… sort of. He couldn’t possibly like her that way now, could he? It was just… unreasonable. How could something in his childhood, something that shouldn’t even matter now suddenly mean so much more now that he was older? It didn’t make any sense. It was just because he missed her. That had to be it; Holly was his best friend in the world… she meant everything to him. She always had. It was only natural to feel things he used to feel for her… they would go away eventually, of course… But maybe he didn’t want them to go away. Oh, what the hell was he even talking about? Of course he did. Because having complicated feelings like that could ruin everything, and he was just having her back. The last thing he wanted was to drive her away because he freaked her out or something. Obviously, it didn’t help that she was being all… touchy with him. It didn’t help things at all, the way she seemed to find any excuse to touch him and he’d just let her because God…. It felt nice. And not that way, you pervs. It was a… strange kind of nice… the kind that gave him even more stupid butterflies and made him feel even more nervous and weird. He couldn’t stop smiling at her, even if he had no reason to and God, it was like being ten or eleven all over again, and he was with her. He never thought he would feel this way again.

Really. Caleb couldn’t help but momentarily freeze when he felt her hands slip beneath his shirt, running over his hips a bit and then pulling him into a hug. He didn’t even know how to define how he felt about that, to be honest. His ex-girlfriends did that to him all the time… only the difference was that they went on to do more things and she didn’t. He wondered for a few moments what would happen if she did do other things… wait, what? He mentally kicked himself in the head. What was he even thinking, assuming insane things like that? They were friends, obviously. He wasn’t going to ruin that. And he obviously wasn’t going to break his no-sleeping-with-friends rule for her. Not that he was thinking of sleeping with her… kind of. He wasn’t even sure about anything anymore. He couldn’t help but smile a bit awkwardly at the sexy comment, not really knowing how to take it. “I think your dad hates me. He made me mow your lawn once. And he already calls me short and thin.” He said with a small shrug. Caleb actually liked Holly’s dad… he was pretty funny – if he wasn’t ordering Caleb around, anyway. And scaring him sometimes. When she abruptly disentangled herself from the embrace, he couldn’t help but miss the warmth it gave and he almost wanted to just keep hugging her. Which was insane… like everything else he thought when it came to her. He felt her grasp his hand, intertwining her tiny fingers with his and he couldn’t help but beam at her. This felt nice… almost, if not just as nice as hugging her. He impulsively raised her hand to her lips, kissing it. “Your hand is all cold.” He mumbled, tightening his hold on it, as though it would somehow warm it up or something. He had no idea how to respond to what she said. No one ever said those things to him before… what was he supposed to say? But he could feel his smile widen even more when she said she love him. “Neither do I. I’m happy you’re here now, Holly. I’ve missed you.” He told her quietly, not really meeting her gaze because he was kind of dreading to see how she’d look with those words. He never told anyone those things, either. For a second, he was sorely tempted to say he wanted to be more, but he quickly bit on his tongue. That was just… stupid of him to say. It would ruin everything and he was quick to bury it deep into the back of his mind, where he hoped he could eventually forget about it. “Best friends sound good,” he told her, kissing the top of her head. He carefully eased his arm around her shoulders, his hand still intertwined with hers as he pulled her closer to his side. “Spend the day with me.”

TAGGED
caleb'shollyhoe
STATUS
finishedbby
WORD COUNT
1402
NOTE
srrythistookages. DD:

[HOLLY-LYNN MOORE]

Holly’s father, sadly enough, was pretty much the only constant thing that Holly had going on her life. Her mother was as inconsistent as anything…on the off chance she decided to visit her daughter for more than an hour she was usually drunk. Which was probably where Holly had discovered the drinking thing from…the fact that when she saw her mother sober she was always a mess, but when she had a glass of wine in hand she was always more calm…and stuck around for longer. And due to Holly’s short attention span she tended to make numerous friends…but only hang out with them a few times, before somehow reverting into a distant friendship that mostly revolved around texts she usually forgot to return and awkward accidental run-ins, or just plain partying. Usually the latter. And despite the fact that she’d spent the first fifteen years of her life living in the same pent house, with the same neighbors, the second her father had sent her to this school that had to be taken away from her as well. But her dad was honestly the best thing in her life. She wasn’t like the kind of people who had parents trying to smother them in attention, rather she was the one who tried to smother her parents in attention…maybe that’s why her mother had run away. But not her father. Her father, while he had to be up in New York to do business on the weekends, spent most of his weekdays in their house in Portland…and Holly actually slept there a lot of the time rather than her dorm room. Which the school had been wary about until her dad had done his whole crazy rich father thing and they gave in, and now she pretty much had free reign. How this place was even supposed to help her she was unsure…it didn’t even matter. It wasn’t doing it’s job so far. But of course she loved her dad, and so whenever he asked she said she was doing better. And he believed her…even if she wasn’t. But of course she always put on a good show for her daddy…she was always sober around him, always took her medications, always smiled…then again, she tended to at least attempt to be like that around just about everyone. When she was on her drugs, or just sad, she’d keep to herself. Drunk was a different story…but everyone Holly’s age drank. It was no big deal. The big deal was probably more when she sat in her room, stared at the wall and downed vodka than when she went out and had fun and drank.

As much as she’d loved Caleb…no, as much as she still loved him, he hadn’t been very constant in her life. It wasn’t his fault though…truly. But she’d gotten quite close to him and then she just…hadn’t been able to see him anymore. Of course she really wasn’t even thinking about that at the moment, or about the fact that it could happen again, and she’d be stuck missing him…again. Last time she’d kind of got depressed for quite a few days, and spent about a week just sitting in her house watching random television shows and ranting about how much she hated his mother while watching her dad barely listen to her and calling her mother on the phone in hopes that she could give her some womanly insight…but of course she only answered the phone once in a blue moon. And of course she’d eventually had to move on with her life…her dad had told her a million times that she was too young to be so sad over something so ridiculous, just because she’d had a crush on him. And of course the fact that she’d actually had a crush on him hadn’t even really sunk in until he’s said that…as far as she was concerned she was too young to like boys. Even though she’d admittedly started noticing the opposite sex at an alarmingly young age, and hadn’t ever really went through the cootie stage. And had actually went on to lose her virginity to some guy she’d spent her Summer with when she was only thirteen years old. But now he was back…and she was pretty sure he wasn’t leaving her again, since his mother had sent him there…and she wasn’t very well going to make him leave just because she was there…she was miles away, he’d said so, so she didn’t even have to know about it. Only Holly wanted her to…she wanted to rub the fact that she obviously couldn’t keep them apart in her face. Because she and Caleb were meant for each other…meant to be friends, of course. Yeah. Even if she wanted to be so much more. That obviously couldn’t even happen…she didn’t even want a boyfriend or anything. Of course not. And she wouldn’t just be friends with benefits…not with Caleb. With any other guy, sure, but he was obviously something different. He was her very closest friend, even if they hadn’t had the chance to be close in years…and he was the first guy she’d ever had real feelings for, other than just wanting to fuck them. And probably the last.

Holly couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of how her father had treated Caleb…she’d found it hilarious when he started bossing him around, and pretty much shoving food down his throat, telling him he was too small. She imagined It would be even worse if her dad heard about Caleb’s…eating problem, so she’d be careful not to mention that. The last thing Caleb needed was some huge lecture from her father about how girls liked guys with a little meat on their bones, or something. Haha. Bones. Meat. Right, sorry. “My daddy loves you. Or he did. He’s probably forgotten about you now. He thought you were sweet…but too soft, or something. I don’t know. He also said something about you being too quiet and how you’re going to grow up to be a cereal killer or something…but you haven’t, so that’s good!” At this point in time, she honestly had no clue what the hell she was talking about. She was pretty much just rambling about whatever popped into her mind…she didn’t even think about the fact that for all she knew he could have grown up to be a ceria killer, and could have plans to drag her off somewhere, to rape and kill her…although the rape thing honestly wasn’t sounding all that bad at the moment. Wait, what? Holding his hand felt…amazing. Just as good as sex, as weird as that may have been. His hand felt so warm against hers…and there were still those weird little sparks that she couldn’t help but note. And of course they multiplied by a tenfold when his lips brushed her skin. She didn‘t even know what to think of this…any of this. “No, your hands are just warm…” She murmured, sighing lightly…in a content way as he squeezed her hand. Had they been this touchy feely before? She didn’t think so…and if they had been it had mostly been on her part…but she didn’t even care. She loved it. And she couldn’t help but smile widely as he said her missed her, for what, the tenth time? It just felt good to know she hadn’t been missing someone who wanted no part of her, or anything of the sort. “I’ve missed you too. So much. I used to think about you a lot…whenever I was alone…or just trying to sleep and my mind would start to wander…is that weird? You probably think it’s weird. You think I’m creepy. I’ll shut up now.” But it was all true…really. Even if she was falling asleep with someone else in her bed she couldn’t help but think of him…and sometimes wonder if she’d even be like this if she was still friends with Caleb, or at least had one like him. All of Holly’s friends either didn’t know or didn’t care about her numerous issues…it was pathetic. And the worst part was that she never even tried to make new friends…because none of them would be able to compare to the one she’d had before she was even fucked up enough to really need them. Caleb. But best friends did sound good…even if at the same time she wanted more. So she merely smiled as he kissed her on the top of her head, and giggled lightly as he put his arm around her shoulders…which felt amazing. Any type of contact with him felt amazing. And all she could think about when he asked her to spend the day with him was that she’d spend forever with him if she could. But instead of saying as much she quickly bit it back and squeezed his hand lightly. “I guess I can clear out my schedule.” She teased, leaning against him a bit and smiling at him. “What did you have in mind for us to do?” Not that she would have cared. He could have suggested they go home and watch the history channel and she would have agreed.

STATUS , finished
WORDS , 1692
TAGS , calebby <3
LYRICS , around the clock - the rocket summer
NOTES , lsdjflkdf. so qt. <3

[/justify][/blockquote]

[CALEB JOSHUA BECKETT]

Caleb liked to think he was different from every other guy out there… and maybe he was. He always had been, even when he was a kid. It had always been a little difficult for him to make friends right away. Usually, during the first day of school – and he had a lot of first days of school because he moved around a lot, thanks to whatever business his dad had – every kid already made friends with at least one person by the end of the day. Caleb didn’t make any until like… the middle of the week. And even then, it was still kind of hard for him to open up to someone and really talk… unless he was like, drunk or something. And he hardly ever drank anything that had alcohol, unless he really had to. He wasn’t the kind of guy who got ridiculously drunk at every opportunity. To be honest, he didn’t even really like the taste of it. It was weird and he had no idea how anyone could stomach the taste. And he didn’t smoke or do any kind of drugs either. Just because he didn’t want to and he was pretty sure he never would. He was the kind of kid who had really good grades, went home early after class and was fine with just staying home on Friday nights. He was like the teenaged kid every parent wanted to have, just because it seemed like he wasn’t going to give anyone headaches for breaking every rule ever made. So he couldn’t really blame his parents – or rather, his mother – for freaking out when he just randomly decided not to eat anything. And okay, maybe it was kind of weird at first. He’d be the first to admit that. He didn’t even know how it happened… he was just tired of everything and he didn’t want anything his parents gave him… and on that very moment that he decided it, it was breakfast and well… the thing about him was, the moment he decided to do something, he did it. There was no turning back. And from then on, he just didn’t want anything they gave him… which included food. And his mother, thinking that her son had some kind of weird eating disorder, immediately sent him here. Of course, he tried to explain that he wasn’t sick in the head or anything, that he just didn’t want anything they gave him and all they had to do was let him move out or something, but it was kind of hard for her to understand that fact. It seemed as though his mom would rather have an insane son with a weird eating disorder than one who didn’t want her. But whatever… so he was in a school for insane people. At least he was far away from them. And even though some kids freaked him out sometimes, it wasn’t all that bad. He didn’t really talk to anyone and everyone just thought he had some mental issues and left him alone… except for Dallas obviously, who pretty much just talked to everyone.

But aside from Dallas being the obvious exception, Caleb didn’t really talk to anyone. Not that he was a douche on purpose or anything. He was just painfully shy and kind of awkward… which was one of the dozen reasons why Caleb’s dad actually really liked Holly. As boring and seemingly uncaring as his dad was, he actually did care a lot – and in a much better way than his mother did. Apparently, he liked how after making friends with Holly, Caleb went around the house talking to everyone and saying hi, and actually going as far as singing in front of people as opposed to just by himself in his room. And it was a nice kind of change obviously… and you’d think his mother would actually approve of a girl who made her son suddenly talkative and well… like everyone else. And she wasn’t, for some reason beyond him. But Caleb’s dad was a different matter; Caleb could tell he didn’t like the idea of them having to move all of a sudden, but he didn’t say anything, as usual. He sometimes wished his dad did… things would be a lot different now, for sure. Maybe he could even be dating Holly now… they could have had months… years, even. He could have been her first kiss, her first everything and so would she and it would just be like one of those overly cheesy romance movies, but better because it was real. If that made any sense. Okay, it probably didn’t and he was insane for thinking about it. When he first met her, they were both so young. The possibility of liking girls as more than friends hadn’t even crossed his mind then, and she had been his best friend in the world. She made him happier than he could ever remember being… hell, she even made his dad stop being a boring and quiet guy and actually be a normal dad for once. And okay, that was once time but it was still a pretty big deal. Not even his mom could do that. And when they had moved away, he had reverted to being all quiet and shy again, and it had been that way ever since. He had always resented his mother for making them leave, and resented his father for letting it happen. And he had never been that talkative and lively again. So how could it even possible to go from just liking her as his best friend in the world years ago and now… something else entirely? Just because he hadn’t seen her in years, and now she looked so pretty and was so adorable and she was all touchy-feely with him and he kind of liked it so he did it too... God, what the hell was wrong with him? This should have been weirder… shouldn’t it?

They used to be just friends – amazing, epic friends – but it was years ago, both when they were too young to even think of being anything else. And they were seeing each other for the first time in how long and it should have felt more strange and awkward. They were supposed to have a few awkward conversations, talk about meeting up sometime and actually never meet again and it was okay. At least that’s how it usually went. They weren’t supposed to be hugging, and holding hands and pretty much looking like they were both in love and were dating – which they weren’t, of course. But God, he wanted them to be. So fucking much. And it wasn’t just because she looked amazing and he probably always had some crush on her that never really dawned on him until now… he loved her. He really did. He just didn’t know what kind of love it was, but he knew it wasn’t the normal, friendly kind. It was something else entirely and honestly, it just confused him to no end. And a part of him couldn’t help but wonder if she felt even remotely the same way he did, with the way she was with him now. Was she this way with other guys? He couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy at the thought and God, this was just sick. He shouldn’t even be thinking this. They had barely been talking for more than what, half an hour? And he was already trying to over-complicate things with her. The last thing he wanted was to drive her away. He honestly didn’t know what he’d do without her. He visibly grimaced at the memory of Holly’s dad trying to force-feed him because apparently, he was too short and skinny. Or telling him what to do. But as much as the guy kind of scared him, he knew he meant well and he obviously loved Holly… which made her really lucky, to be honest. He couldn’t help but laugh at how she suddenly started rambling. God, she was so adorable. “Well, we could always go see him again, if you want… see if he still remembers me. Just so he’d know I didn’t grow up to be a serial killer or anything. But if he starts force-feeding me again…” Actually, he wouldn’t mind eating whatever food her dad gave him. He was different. He could feel the weird sparks again the longer he held her hand… was he imagining all of this? It seemed like it. But there was no denying how nice it felt. He couldn’t help but beam widely – the widest he had probably ever grinned since… well, ever and only Holly ever saw that smile on his face – but God, he loved that she thought about him all the time… probably as much as he did to her. “No, it’s not creepy. And you’re not creepy. I love it… I love you.” And he should probably stop saying that over and over again… the last thing he wanted was for her to think it was weird. “I used to think about you a lot, too. I still do. But you’re here now…” He smiled at her, for what, the tenth time in a row? He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy about anything, and he pulled her even closer when she leaned into him. “I don’t know. I’d do anything you want to do… but we can go to my dorm and… uh, hang out? Only if you want to.” He added those last parts hurriedly, not wanting her to get the idea he wanted to have sex with her right after they met. They weren’t even… anything. Yet…? God, he hoped so.

TAGGED
caleb'shollyhoe
STATUS
finishedbby
WORD COUNT
1737
NOTE
jdvlkfver cutestpairingever. <33

[HOLLY-LYNN MOORE]

In all truth hearing him say that he missed her too was a big relief…she’d never really envisioned meeting up with him again, but if she had it probably wouldn’t have gone this…greatly. Despite the fact that Holly was forever the optimist. It had probably been a lot more awkward, and if she was being honest…they’d probably just exchange numbers and be on their way. He wouldn’t remember her, or at least she’d imagined he wouldn’t, and so she’d be let down and he’d probably be creeped out…but of course she was quite happy with the way things had really turned out. With him being the one to actually ask if she remembered him…and of course she did. And instead of being creeped out or weirded out when she started to kiss him on the cheek and hug him and basically touch him so much that anyone of her other “friends” would have told her to gtfo and stop being weird…because despite the fact that she was known for hugging and cheek kisses she was definitely probably overdoing it with Caleb. But she couldn’t even help it…she couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this close…close enough for her to touch. And fine, she loved the sparks that somehow happened whenever their bare skin touched. And the best part of it all was when he started doing it to…kissing her on the top of the head and holding her hand and kissing her hair and god, it all felt amazing….it should have been weird. Everything about this should have felt weird. They hadn’t seen each other in years, they were supposed to feel like strangers…but she still felt connected to him, like she had pretty much ever since the first time they’d met. Even though there hadn’t’ been the sparks back then…she was sure of it, she’d be able to remember if there had been…though she was probably too young back then to even feel anything like this. Really. She’d been around the guy for, what, less than an hour and she was already feeling stronger for him than she had guys she’d been spending the last few years around…none of them even mattered. They were all either strictly friends or strictly for fucking…that was a line Holly made sure to draw thickly. And Caleb…there was no line with Caleb. She’d do anything and everything he wanted…if he just wanted to be friends, which was honestly what it seemed like to her…fine, she didn’t even care. And while she didn’t just want to have sex with him, if that’s what he wanted…she’d go for it. Really. She loved him…to the point where on the off chance he ever decided he’d want a relationship, she’d give it to him in a snap.

Despite the fact that she knew nothing about what kind of guy he’d grown up to be, he really didn’t strike her as the type to sleep around. At least not as a sport like most guys did…and like she did. He hadn’t said one comment about it so far, she hadn’t caught his eyes lingering on any part of her body for an alarmingly long time…and while they were both being quite touchy, it didn’t feel like he was trying to get a feeling up or anything. If anything she was the one who was…since she’d slid her fingers up under his shirt. Everything he was doing seemed tender and as nonsexual as possible. And at the same time it didn’t seem like it could just be friendly…nothing with him felt like it could just be friendly, even though that was most likely the case…but why was this driving her crazy? He was driving her crazy. With most guys it was obvious what they wanted. She was good at telling if they just wanted to fuck her, or if they wanted more, and she was good at either giving them what they wanted or telling them straight out that they just weren’t going to get it. It was easy…but with Caleb she couldn’t even tell what he wanted. The things he was saying made it seem like he just wanted friendship, but the feeling of his lips on her hand, or his body close to hers made her feel like he wanted something else. And she wouldn’t tell him he couldn’t have whatever he wanted…even if what he wanted was something crazy, like her trust fund or something. Or if he just wanted her to gtfo and leave him alone. But of course she was hoping the last one wouldn’t happen…because she liked being around him. It was absurd, but it made her feel better than she had in…well, years. She wasn’t going to blame Caleb on her depression or anything, not even close, but there was no denying that in a way he was kind of the cure for it…even if it was only for a few moments. She hadn’t even thought of going and getting a drink once since the two of them had bumped into each other…it was like his touch was enough to take care of all her cravings, as completely weird as that may have been.

Holly couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of her father pretty much forcing food down Caleb’s throat, saying that he needed to bulk up if he was going to be gallivanting around the streets of New York with his daughter. But she was pretty sure he wouldn’t appreciate her father force feeding him anymore now…not that he exactly had back then, but even less now…since he had an eating disorder or something. Was it even that? The entire thing still confused her…but she wasn’t going to press him about it right now…because that could lead to him pressing her about things she wasn’t sure she wanted to spill about yet. Eventually they’d get to talk about that…she wasn’t sure she even wanted to spill all of her secrets in the middle of a park of all places…or press him about his. But they’d obviously do it eventually…because she was pretty sure they were going to start spending a lot of time together again. Hopefully. If she got her way. “I’ll tell him not to force feed you. Much. I still think you need to get a little meat on your bones.” Haha. Bones. Of course that was a joke…she didn’t care how thin he was, she still found him to be…the most attractive guy on earth. Other than maybe Brad Pitt or something, because he was just always sexy. But she was pretty sure that even if he had an oddly disfigured face or something she’d still love him…she was usually into taller men and she didn’t even care that he was only a few inches taller than her. And god, seeing that smile on his face…she’d missed that smile. She knew for a fact that no one else got to see it…or at least she was pretty sure they didn’t…she’d been the only one that could cause it back when they were younger. And she wasn’t even allowing herself to think of the fact that maybe he’d changed, maybe he had a girlfriend who made him smile that way even more…god, that hurt. She didn’t even want to think of him with another girl. She wanted to think of him with her. Forever. She was sick. And god, every time she heard him say he loved her, her heart sped up a million miles…no one else could even do this to her. “yes, I’m here now. You don’t have a girlfriend do you?” The second part just kind of fell out of her mouth, and instead of just shutting up or telling him to ignore it, she just kept rambling. “I mean, just curious. It’s good if you do. I’d be happy for you. I’m just wondering…because maybe we shouldn’t be touching each other like this…even though we’re just friends…” She was making a complete idiot of herself…but she got points for knowing it, right? She should have told him he didn’t have to answer it…but she felt like she needed to know. There was no point in getting her hopes up if he was taken…really. And maybe she shouldn’t even be doing…this with him. Whatever this was. Because despite the fact that Holly was a whore, she wasn’t a man snatching whore. Even if she loved the man in question. She couldn’t help but laugh lightly as he suggested they go back to his dorm…while any other guy saying it would have seemed like an invitation to have sex, when he did she only wished it was. This should have been weird, right? Wanting a guy she’d known since…forever. But it wasn’t. “I’ll hang out in your dorm with you. But we’re not going to make out.” She was only joking…really. She’d make out with him if he wanted…god, what was wrong with her.

STATUS , finished
WORDS , 1666
TAGS , calebby <3
LYRICS , around the clock - the rocket summer
NOTES , 666. ._.

[/justify][/blockquote]

[CALEB JOSHUA BECKETT]

Caleb was usually a really straightforward person. Usually. He was the kind of guy who, despite being hopelessly quiet and shy, when he had an opinion about something, he wouldn’t hesitate to make his view and ideas known… and he was a little too harsh and honest sometimes, but hey, it was better than just being quiet all the time. At least he liked to think so. But other than that, he was a straightforward kind of guy. He didn’t say one thing and mean another. If anything, the whole thing just kind of annoyed him, especially with the girls that he used to date… about how they wanted one thing, but then actually wanted another, and they would endlessly fight about the whole thing after… he was just tired of it, to be honest – which was another reason why he hadn’t dated in three weeks, aside from the obvious reason that he didn’t want to tell some girl he couldn’t take her out to eat because for some reason beyond him, he couldn’t bring himself to eat anything. And he was just the kind of guy who went straight to the point, as much as possible. He didn’t waste time saying other things, and doing other things… those just honestly wasted his time. If he liked a girl, he didn’t play any games and tried confusing her just to make things more interesting or something. He usually just asked the girl out and that was that. Unlike some other guys, who liked to confuse girls simply because it was fun and they can, he didn’t. He was at least, nice enough not to do something as douchey as that. So he had no idea why he was acting this way around her now… all… un-Caleb-ish. If that was even a word, and it probably wasn’t. But you get my point. Yes, he was well-aware of the obvious fact that he was giving her mixed signals, thank you very much. And no, he wasn’t trying to play games with her or anything like that. God, she’d be the last girl on earth he’d ever decide to do that with… just because he knew how much it hurt the girl, and he would never hurt Holly… ever. He loved her… more than he could ever really understand right now. He knew he felt things for her that he never felt with anyone else, and he knew it was more than friendly… he just couldn’t put a name to it yet. Somewhere, in the very back of his mind, he knew exactly what it was – he just didn’t want to acknowledge it yet. He couldn’t… especially right now, when they had just met and it was too soon… way too soon to even start feeling the things he felt. God, this didn’t make any sense right now. He had never been this confused about anything in his life.

He just didn’t know why he was sending her mixed signals. He didn’t even mean to… really. He meant what he said when he wanted to be best friends with her, that he missed her like any friend should miss their friend after a very long time and all those other things he said… but he didn’t mean to hold her hand, or kiss her, or hold her the way he did… okay, not initially. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do all those things while he was saying all those other things because they were as opposite as opposite came but God, he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to hug her, to hold her, to feel like she was his… in an entirely different way. He wanted people to look at them and think that they were dating, that they were in love…. And God, this was just so insane. Really. He didn’t even know where all of this was coming from but he knew one thing; this wasn’t fair for Holly. In any way, shape or form. Caleb knew he was probably confusing the hell out of her and he honestly couldn’t blame her for it – he was more confused than she was, that was for sure. Really, it would have all sort of have been alright had he eyed her in a more than friendly way, looked down her shirt or try to grope her while he was hugging her. At least those would have shown a clearer intention than the one he was showing now, but he honestly wasn’t even thinking of it. Not that it wasn’t possible to… it was. He was a guy after all… a guy who hadn’t had sex in three weeks, to be honest… but he couldn’t do that to her. He might have with some other girl, but Holly wasn’t just some other girl. She was his girl… in a totally confusing sort of way. And maybe it would have made her happier had he tried to make a move on her instead of just trying to confuse her with his words and kind of romantic actions… but he didn’t know. This wasn’t just about sex; he wanted her to at least know that, if she ever found out about whatever he felt for her… eventually… whatever it was. But he didn’t do all these things just so he could have sex with her… she was a lot more than that. He wanted her… in ways he couldn’t really understand… or rather, in ways he did understand but he just refused to. Denial. Obviously.

Caleb was horrible at it… really. He was just a horrible liar in general, mostly because he was used to telling the truth, no matter how harsh it might have been… and now, he was lying to himself because he knew exactly what he wanted from her, and he knew exactly what he felt about her… he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. And especially not to her. Not that he ever would… he might tell her eventually, but God, this was just all too sudden, wasn’t it? He sure as hell didn’t expect feeling all of this when he woke up this morning. He thought it would be just another day and that it wouldn’t really kill to take a walk in the park or something and now… he was with Holly, holding her like… the way he wanted to. Probably the way all the girls he dated once wished he would hold them, but he never did… he honestly could never bring himself to be this touchy-feely with any one of them… even with the one girl he thought he was in love with. This had to be fate, right? Fate… and destiny… and love… because really, he wasn’t expecting all of this to happen, and especially not all at once. Wasn’t love supposed to slowly come over time? It wasn’t supposed to come around all at once and this suddenly… he was pretty sure of that. It was supposed to develop, wasn’t it? And now… he was feeling and wanting things he thought he would never feel or want… if that made any sense. He pretended to be upset, frowning at her. “Mean. You love me being all skinny…” She probably didn’t and he silently resolved to actually try start eating something first thing tomorrow… for her. God, he’d do anything and everything for her. Really. He couldn’t help but stare at her in surprise at her question. Well, he wasn’t expecting that question from her, of all things but he had learned to expect the unexpected with Holly. She was honestly just so unpredictable… which was one of the million reasons why he loved her... in a friendly, not-so friendly kind of way. God, he had no idea. “No Holly, I don’t have a girlfriend. I haven’t had one in awhile.” He also hadn’t had sex in awhile, but he decided not to tell her that part. “We don’t have to… do things like this, if it makes you feel uncomfortable though.” He said hesitantly, pulling away slightly as he did, not wanting to make her feel even weirder than he assumed she already was. He couldn’t help but grin at her. “Oh damn, there goes my plan. We’re going to just have to do something else in my dorm.” He teased. He was only joking of course… half-joking. Maybe.

TAGGED
caleb'shollyhoe
STATUS
finishedbby
WORD COUNT
1508
NOTE
jdvlkfver cutestpairingever. <33

[HOLLY-LYNN MOORE]

despite the fact that everything about their little meeting was confusing, the most confusing part was the fact that caleb was…well, like her. not exactly like her or anything, he just had an eating disorder of sorts, she was completely fucked up. everything about this meeting was surprising, or confusing, not the way she’d planned it or thought it had happened…even though she was honestly completely happy with the way everything was going. even if she was confused…which honestly wasn’t a new feeling for holly. she wasn’t exactly the smartest person on earth…at least not when it came to other people. despite the fact that she knew how to make people like her, or at least she liked to think she did, she never really could tell what they were thinking. their movies. and of course she didn’t have a long enough attention span to actually care. and she also didn’t care that there was something wrong with caleb…and that he was going to the same fucked up school that she was all the other fucked up kids were. if anything she liked it even more…finally she wasn’t alone. and fine, she had quite a few friends, and she was always going out to parties…when she felt up for it, and she was pretty sure everyone knew who she was - even if it wasn’t always a good thing. but finally she had someone she actually cared about…who cared about her. who wasn’t going to leave her…again. he hadn’t even left her willingly last time, she was sure of it. there had never really been a doubt in her mind that he had not wanted to leave her…because what they’d had was just too great. what they still had, even if they only newly had it. she was positive that it couldn’t only be this great on her side of the fence. they’d been best friends when they were too young for It to matter…and now, even though they’d barely been reunited for any amount of time, they were already best friends again. she could feel It. their entire friendship was the only thing that mattered at the moment…and maybe her daddy, just because she loved him. and her mother, but for all she knew her mother could be lying in a gutter dead. really. the last time she’d spoken to her mother was on her mother’s birthday…and her mother hadn’t even been the one to call, she had. numerous shrinks had even tried to blame her mother for the things wrong with her, but of course holly was quick to call them on It. despite her dependent personality she wouldn’t blame her mother for her issues. she was the only one to blame on that. her mother just had some issues of her own, no one could blame her for leaving. except her father who would often rant about how irresponsible she was, and how he should have found a more suitable woman to mother his children. and the sad thing? the fact that in all their old pictures, before they had holly, they’d looked so happy.

needless to say she kind of blamed herself for the unhappiness of her parents. they’d been happy before she was born and ruined everything…they had a million cute pictures together, and even home videos, and sometimes her mom would get drunk and tell her stories about how happy they were before they had a kid and settled down. of course that was back when holly was really little, but she could still remember it. the smell of bourbon as her mother would press her lips to her cheek and say words that completely contradicted her movements. she would always hug her or hold her hand when she was telling her about how much better off she’d be without her daughter. and of course that was how the fighting between her parents had started, her entire childhood was full of it. her father would come home from work and find her mother passed out drunk, and a little five year old holly just sitting on the couch watching television, or even picking up her mother’s alcohol bottles. and her father would tuck her into bed and tell her she shouldn’t be up so late. and then he’d go and wake up her mother and she’d stuff a pillow over her head to try and not hear the fighting…eventually she’d become to used to it that it was more like background noise than anything else. And by the time she was thirteen years old her parents got a divorce. everyone had probably assumed she’d taken It harder than she did…and fine, she had. but it was at that age that she’d learned that acting happy all the time made people like you more than whining about your issues. even when her mother moved to mexico and her father sent her to a shrink she just kept a smile on her face, all the time. there had never been anyone she could open up to again...and all the while she’d been thinking about the fact that if caleb were there she’d be able to talk to him about it...but of course he wasn’t there. not when she lost her virginity at a scarily young age, or when she started drinking, or even when she got into the drugs. starting with pot and ending with everything else in between. and she’d somehow managed to survive…just barely. if you even called what she’d done surviving. she knew a lot of people didn’t...and of course that’s why she was stuck here, alone, and as far away from home as humanly possible.

weirdly enough she did kind of love him being all skinny…it was adorable. any other girl would have felt self conscious about being with a guy skinnier than her…wait, what? she was already thinking about being with him? this was wrong. they were friends. she had to keep telling herself that. she was almost getting to the point where she was thinking of him as a boyfriend…she didn’t even like having boyfriends. for more than a week. but caleb wasn’t most guys...she wanted to be with him for much more than a week. if he even wanted the same thing...she didn’t even know at the moment. and yet at the same time that she liked him being skinny, and thought it was adorable, she knew it was unhealthy…that he needed to eat, and be strong and healthy. she’d love him no matter how he was though...even if he gained a hundred pounds and turned fat and Icky. she’d just take advantage of the extra cuddle-age and hug him even more. this was love…it had to be. even if it was only one sided. maybe it was even better that way…no attachments, just her secretly being in love with him. she wouldn’t even have to worry about hurting him. and of course he wouldn’t hurt her…because she was impossible to hurt. “I Do love you being all skinny. it’s cute.” She teased him lightly, letting a bit of a giggle escape her mouth before looking at him seriously. “but i want you to eat more, okay? it’s unhealthy. no matter how cute it is. you need to be big and strong. plus standing next to you probably makes me look fat.” the last part was a joke. really. kind of. ha. either way she poked him teasingly In the stomach. she couldn’t deny that when he said he didn’t have a girlfriend, and hadn’t in a while that she felt better. she hated the thought of him with anyone else, even if she knew she couldn’t be with him. and for some reason she highly doubted he’d grown up to be a whore or anything of the sort. “good.” She replied simply…but the feeling of happiness disappeared as he pulled away. “no, no, I like doing things like this.” She relied firmly, pulling him back closer and kissing his cheek once more. “I love it.” her words were blunt and to the point…and part of her wished he’d just catch on to how she was feeling about him…wasn’t she making it kind of obvious? a giggle escaped her mouth once more as he accused her of ruining his plan. she knew he was joking…in a way she kind of wished he wasn’t. “well I suppose if you already had plans we could do it.” she teased him lightly, and then for some reason that was completely beyond her she kissed him gently on his lips. It wasn’t even a real kiss, it didn’t even last a full second. and the next moment she was pulling away and dragging him along by the hand. “come on, let’s go to your dorm.” she said happily, even though she probably should have felt awkward. “you lead the way.” She said, shooting him another smile…it was insane how happy she was. really.

STATUS , finished
WORDS , 1625
TAGS , calebby <3
LYRICS , around the clock - the rocket summer
NOTES , 666. ._.

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