( MINDY! ) this is your secret song .

[DANIEL COLOUR DE LUCA]

HE COULD HEAR WHAT SHE WOULD SAY ALREADY. she would stutter, and hesitate, if he was lucky smile and blush a little, but she would say the same thing she already said. bad idea. why? 'cos in her eyes, daniel was a bad idea, wasn't he? despite the fact they became friends, despite having killed all the akwardness between them -- it still was never really.. real. it wasn't real because they couldn't be that way around anyone else, they would be laughing and talking normally one second, then enter a third person in the conversation, even someone that the small girl could trust, the two seemed to reinact those old scenes that happened between them before they were really.. "friends." they were friends, right? so why was he doing this? he did not play songs for delilah.. he didn't play guitar for any of his ex girlfriends, either, though. so, no assumptions could be right? wrong. he knew it was wrong, but did danny ever let anything stand in his way? he was not the type to hesitate. mindy did that. she was the one who actually thought about every little thing that danny didn't even bother notice.. not until mindy opened his eyes to most of it. for four three years, he went around figuring every one out in this school, no matter how fucked up they were, danny could get right in there head, and just knowing that he could seemed to make them a gabillion times less interesting. some of them became friends. most of them became mere nuisances embodied in flesh & bones. but mindy was different. despite having been completely and utterly confused by her, danny was compelled to sit in her presence, sometimes they were quiet, sometimes they couldn't stop talking, and sometimes it was even just knowing that the both of them were within a few meters of each other that could make him smile. both of them didn't have to miss talking in italian anymore, and basically it was sort of their own secret code.. nobody else spoke italian, it passed as their own pig latin. it was weird. it should've felt weird, but it didn't. this was a different kind of friendship, where mindy seemed to listen to him more than anyone else would even bother. he stripped himself down to show he wasn't really that scary. he was just broken. like everyone else. he managed to get her mouth moving a little. maybe he would never fully understand her, but he he made it a point that despite what she might think he would never hurt her. he wasn't like that.. at least he said he assured her he wasn't.

and he might be ruining it. this might just fuck everything up, and he could already see joaquin seething. but again, danny didn't really stop for anyone. not his father, not his friends, not even himself. he did everything on a whim, and that whim just might break one of these days, that whim just might get him alone, friendless, and without mindy. 'cos he was supposed to be predictable, and oh how all the things he had given up to be that for her. all those little surprises he liked to do to win people over, he would warn her about. "warn". that word makes it seem like it could hurt her or something. then again, with mindy you could not make such assumptions. the last thing he wanted was to scare her away. and apparently, he did that without even trying.. at least they were past that. wait, they were past that, right? he hesitated as he sat down on the edge of the fountain, his fingers tapped against his guitar as he glanced around the familiar faces. delilah was there, and a part of him wanted to tell her what he was gonna do. just so she could either cheer him on or be like "DANNY THATS THE STUPIDEST THING OF LIFE DON'T YOU DARE DO IT." of course, saying that would only make him want to do it more.. yes, he was like a fucking child at times, but that was danny. despite acting fairly mature around people, being all charming and whatnot, if you got to know him you would know how much he enjoyed just being.. a kid. yes, this eighteen year old likes to play tag. and hide and seek. and he could spend hours just playing rock, paper, scissors -- of course, he would need a willing victim. of course, he was friends with two of the quoteunquote classiest people, and he felt somewhat obligated to hold a certain image when it came to dallas. so the games were often just kept between him and his dad. where was his dad? his dad would know what to say, what to do.. his dad knew everything. for the most part.

and when he finally managed to look at her, hold his smile for more than a few moments before nudging her over, it seemed to all just be easier now. it was one of those things that seemed so scary up until the moment you were actually doing it, and it struck you hey it isn't that bad. maybe as it was easier the second his fingers started strumming the guitar, they didn't all stop what they were doing and just watch him -- it was never like that with his friends, they were all just. hanging out. and this was just.. a special song. for a special girl. he had been playing just ten minutes before she arrived, why should it be so weird for him to be playing now right? "i have a song for you," he nodded at her, before letting the words fall out of his mouth as softly and easily as they should, "mindy.. can you keep a secret?" should he be watching her reaction? should he be scared? scared of her rejecting him for the millionth time. "i imagine you will turn me down..." the words could not cover up that smile he had on his face, "let downs are fine.. they happen all the time." he wanted to think that this was a new feeling, that he had just developed this so called "crush" on mindy, it was not how all this began, but in the back of his mind, he knew that he didn't just insist on hanging out with her 'cos he wanted to be able to figure her out. "when i first heard your voice.." he had a crush on her since they were children, and them meeting here, her having changed.. getting close again.. "it just was a matter of time."

* 1,000 words.
* cutest things ever. js.

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[MINDY EVELYN MATUS]

N

[/color]ever in a million years would Mindy have seen this happening. She and Daniel De Luca…friends. Granted, they’d been on good terms when they were younger, because their families were friends and such…but since the little re-uniting that happened at Fitzgerald they had been more awkward than anything else. And then there was the little “date”, for lack of better word, which had only made things more awkward…and then somehow they transitioned into this. It was a comfortable kind of friendship…she didn’t feel nervous around him, and he made himself predictable for her…she was sure of it. She could talk openly to him…more than she could around even Joaquin or Petra sometimes. But the second someone walked in, especially if it was Joaquin or Petra, she’d shut up. She didn’t even know why…it was like she was a little kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar. So in general she made it a rule not to spend time with him in a group of people…but obviously she was making a bit of an obsession. Admittedly she’d been wary when he asked if she was going to be going…it was just a group of people hanging out, most of the people she was even comfortable around. Admittedly Delilah could scare her at times…but Mindy found that she wasn’t so bad when she was around her friends, which of course included Joaquin and Danny…both of whom were there. Which she found awkward, for some unknown reason. She always felt weird when Joaquin walked into the room when she and Daniel were talking…and not the usual kind of butterflies in the stomach weird she felt when Joaquin was around. Though lately she couldn’t help but wonder if she only felt anything for him because she knew she couldn’t have him. Ever. Because her best friend already did. And she felt guilty for even starting to think of him in that way…and yet she couldn’t think of anyone else in that way, for some reason beyond he. Kind of. There had been fleeting moments when she’d considered Daniel…when someone was questioning what was going on between them, because even she didn’t really know. Or when they were just talking and there was just some weird…thing between them that she didn’t even know how to describe. But she’d said it a million in one times, to him, in her head, to everyone else…it just wasn’t a good idea. She couldn’t even begin to explain why it wasn’t, but it wasn’t.

O[/color]f course Mindy was the quietest in the group…while everyone else was sitting around and talking she was just kind of sitting there, giving a few short answers on the off chance anyone actually spoke to her…but of course that’s how she liked it. Observing rather than being observed. She couldn’t help but note that Danny seemed a little off…she didn’t even know what it was, she couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was definitely something. And he had a guitar, which also struck her as odd…because she hadn’t even known that he could play, and then he just randomly has a guitar. And then he actually started playing…and she shot him a smile, before looking away awkwardly…at least until she heard him spoke. For a moment all she could do was stare at him, unsure of what the hell he was doing…or why he was doing it…or why he had to do whatever it was in front of all these people. This was normal, right? He just decided it would be fun to randomly play her a song…to show off his skills or something. Only he hadn’t told her he was going to do it…which was odd, because he’d been telling her pretty much everything he was doing lately, and now she was just confused to all hell. Surprisingly she wasn’t scared…despite the fact that she was kind of nervous. What was going on? She was pretty sure everyone around them was equally confused…but she couldn’t even bring herself to look away from his face to see how the others were reacting. Even if a part of her just wanted to see how Joaquin felt about this…if he was jealous or something. Even though she was unsure of if he should be…judging by the words he was singing, yes. It was a song…with her name in it…saying all these things she wasn’t even sure she wanted to hear. It could only mean one thing…and she wasn’t even sure she wanted it to mean that one thing. And so she just stared at him in a confused way the whole time, not sure what any of it really meant…not sure what she even wanted it to mean. The only thing she was really sure of was that he had a nice voice.

F[/color]or a moment as the song ended all she could do was stare at him, unsure of his motives once more…just as she had been back when he’d scared her beyond all reason. Except now she couldn’t even bring herself to be afraid of him, like she was a majority of the world…she was just…nervous, confused, unsure, mainly confused. “…I don’t understand…” She finally said slowly, wearing a bit of a confused smile, not allowing herself to look at the face of anyone but him. She didn’t even want to see Joaquin’s face…because a part of her was pretty sure he wouldn’t care…and a part of her wanted him to…and yet now there was another part that wasn’t even caring at the moment. “What was that even all about? I’m confused…why did you do it here…and now…I don’t even know what to say…” That much was true. She was honestly unsure of what to say…it not for the fact that everyone else was around them she might have been saying something different than this, but as it was she didn’t. Instead she just sighed lightly, her cheeks holding a faint blush…for reasons she couldn’t even begin to explain. “I think that was a bad idea…” Only…she also thought it wasn’t. Oh, now she was contradicting herself. Fabulous.[/font][/justify][/blockquote]

status - - - * finished
words - - - * 1020
tags - - - * daniel de luca
notes - - - * <3 so qt.

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[DANIEL COLOUR DE LUCA]

HE WANTED TO BE WRONG. but when was he ever wrong? danny was not the type to make mistakes, no. he was smart. he could dissect every little thing, find the problem, then put it all back together in seconds. well, with mindy, it often took a little longer -- but hey, he got there didn't he? he got there. he was her friend. and there he was.. ruining it. or was he really? danny had composure, but not enough to spare, although he rarely had a reason to be angry, if he did get angry, it would be bad. he didn't have a reason to be sad, either. life was average. despite how forced his smiles were, how hard it seemed to get through the day at times -- he had no reason to complain, right? and when a girl walks into his life, with the potential to change him entirely just by being with him.. well.. that changed a few things. that changed everything. it was a chance, and danny took chances, no matter how scary, how "bad" of an idea it seemed. he had to try. he had to put his hand on the stove to make sure it was hot, it was the way daniel de luca worked, and not even mindy could stop him. not even mindy.. as if she had some sort of power over him. did she? she didn't. he didn't want to think she did, but lets look at this way.. for some reason or an other, danny became completely predictable just for her. there had to be something there, right? danny went to great lengths to make his girlfriends happy, he did silly little things that kept them entertained and made them forget his little fits, and the fact of the matter was.. he was already treating mindy like she was his girlfriend. it was a bad idea? well. tough. he didn't give a rat's flee bitten ass.

but he couldn't help but smile at her confusion despite the fact that there was a blown fuse in his brain just now, "hey, don't make that face," he got up and glanced over at his friends, trying to slow down his heart rate right then, nodding slightly at joaquin. what was he doing? he was pretty much in the same boat as mindy right now, but the key was not to let her now, "first, relax, it was just a song." bull. shit. "do you want me to say i just couldn't handle being predictable for so long?" he asked her, giving her a look, okay. so five seconds ago, he was sure that he wanted to try this, but the second he got there near her, he quickly became afraid of losing it. losing her. losing.. quin. losing all of this. "i'm in general a bad idea to you, aren't i, mouse?" he said slowly, trying his best not to sound hurt offended, for the most part he was hoping it worked. for the first time in a long time, he felt somewhat paralyzed, powerless. he didn't like it, god he hated it. he was beginning to actually believe her, maybe this was a bad idea.. it was always so easy, he could smile and say something sweet.. there was no hesitation, no moment of truth. he knew he was gonna get it, and he knew what he would do with it. maybe generalizing all the girls he has dated as "it" isn't so nice, but in danny's mind, they were. 'cos at one point or an other, it turned sour. it wasn't like he dated them to break up with them, god no. danny was actually looking for the "special someone", although he would never admit it. he liked being just a manwhore to the general human race, it was less likely to get him in the way of some low blows. which he would have to know just give up on -- 'cos this little scene right there, he knew would end up on that gossip girl's blog. danny de luca. turned down for the gabillionth and one time. congratulation mindy matus, you have helped set a world record.

the more he thought about it, the scarier it became.. 'cos well, why was he so persistent? he had to stay in character. not like his dad, determined one second, and torn the next. he had to be danny de luca, no matter how weak at the knees he felt, no matter how knotted up his stomach was, no matter how unfamiliar this thing called rejection will be. he had to at least go out with dignity, right? he glanced around, feeling a few pair of eyes burn holes through the back of his neck. he leaned close to her ear, to whisper something softly, something he knew nobody would catch, and that was the plan. 'cos if nobody heard it, it would most likely keep the mouse happier and less confused than now. it was just easier when they were alone. "i like you. and this may or may not be a bad idea, but there is only one way to find out, right?" he stayed closed to make sure he heard her answer when she threw it back at him, "pretend they're not here." that last part seemed more important than it should, 'cos they were here.. and they were watching.. even though they were trying to hide it. danny never minded being the center of attention, really, around his friends it was hard to get that kind of attention.. nobody gave a fuck. but sing a song to a girl, and ooh. now they are all watching your e very move. something in his head told the eighteen year old he would be forgetting this all in a blur, and at least he could ask delilah to retell him what happened after that. delilah. she would probably be the only one talking to him after this.. well, between her and joaquin. there was dallas, ace, and.. petra. hahahha, okay, no, that last part was joke. he wasn't gonna go talk to the crackhead, i mean his best friend's girlfriend. no. instead he was just swooning over his best friend's love interest. oh, how classy. then again, being classy was never part of daniel's deal.. that was more deli & quin.

* idk. D: word counters aren't working. wtf.
* i think i rambled x 12039141084912. xD

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[MINDY EVELYN MATUS]

I

[/color]t was just a song. Okay. There was no need for inwardly spazzing like she was…it was just a song. He’d said as much. Just a song that seemed to say so much more than she was sure she even wanted him to say. Still, she couldn’t help but feel bad when he said he was just a bad idea for her in general…even though it was true. It was kind of obvious to her that he was trying not to look offended, but for some reason she could kind of see past it. But what was she supposed to say? It was true. He was a bad idea…being friends with him was obviously a bad idea, because he was getting the wrong idea from it. All she wanted was a good friend…and Danny was a good friend. She’d even grown to feel comfortable around him…even more so than her other friends a lot of the time. And yet at the same time the idea of being anything more scared her…and there was still Joaquin. It wouldn’t be fair for her to…get involved with anyone when she still had feelings for him. Would it? Not to mention the fact that she’d never done…anything before. She’d never found a guy she wanted to do anything with. Other than Joaquin but that was obviously not an option. It wasn’t that she’d sworn off dating or anything, or that she was the type who thought it was pointless…she just hadn’t done it. Mainly because dating usually meant sex and to be honest, the very thought of sex scared her…she wasn’t a virgin. Technically. But maybe that was why it scared her…because of the way she’d lost her virginity. But at the same time…having something more than just friendship with Danny almost didn’t seem that bad. Even though he didn’t understand her, he was nice…he wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d thought initially. And even though he confused her a lot, and gave her mixed messages…he usually tried to be predictable. Though this was obviously an exception, or something, because he was being anything but. She’d thought today was just going to be hanging out…that she wouldn’t even have to talk or do much…and then he had to ruin it by surprising and confusing the hell out of her. She didn’t even know how to react to any of this.

E[/color]specially when he leaned in close to her, saying exactly what she’d somehow been expecting him to say…even though he said it was just a song. That he liked her. She didn’t even know how to take it…she wanted to take it as him saying he liked her in a friendly way, but she knew t wasn’t like that. It was obvious. And he was right…there was only one way to tell. But she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to…she was more confused than anything else. It was getting to the point where she didn’t even know where she wanted…and it wasn’t fair. Any of this. To her, or to Danny…or even to Joaquin. Even though she had no clue what Joaquin had to do with anything at this point. She wished she could pretend they weren’t there…she wished it was that easy. Or that they really weren’t there, so she and Danny could talk like they did when no one was around…but they were there, she could feel their most likely almost as confused as she was eyes on her. Why had he thought doing this in front of all these people was even a good idea? “I…don’t know…” She began quietly, closing her eyes lightly…it was a little easier to pretend that they weren’t there like that. What was even going on? She was honestly still slightly confused as to what he even wanted from her…and if she could even give whatever it was. And yet she found herself agreeing with him…because he was right. “I guess you’re right. There’s only one way to find out…” she trailed off, opening her eyes and looking at him. “But what if it is a bad idea?” Of course Mindy wasn’t exactly one tot take risks…especially not when she was eighty percent sure that it was a bad idea.

"I[/color] don’t know anything about this.” She said quickly, quietly, feeling extremely stupid. “I don’t know anything about…any of this. Nothing like this has happened before. I have no experience with guys. At all. And I don’t even know if I feel the same way you do…so it’s probably a bad idea. So is there even a point?” Not only was she most likely making no sense at all…but she was finding it a bit easier to pretend that no one was there. Mainly because she could slowly feel their interest disintegrating, or maybe she was just imagining that part. Either way it didn’t matter. She was getting to the point that, at least for the moment, none of them really mattered. At least not right now.[/font][/justify][/blockquote]

status - - - * finished
words - - - * 832
tags - - - * daniel de luca
notes - - - * sorry this took a while. and is epically short. ._.

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[DANIEL COLOUR DE LUCA]

IT WAS NEVER LIKE THIS, NOT WITH ONE GIRL. and yes, it kinda of actually maybe pissed him off. maybe just a bit. but that was good, wasn't it? mindy got human reactions out of danny, whereas in other relationships, he was the one who fell indifferent. the tables have turned, eh? he can now feel the frustration of being with someone so.. passive.. and he was already frustrated with her, why was he trying to get them together and cause himself. 'cos he liked her. it was all the usual cheese with a side of whipped cream. she made him feel different, ignore this.. this awkard situation danny had put them both in. in front of people, it all just fell trembling on the ground as if there was an earthquake. maybe if he tried to talk to her about this when they were alone, it would have been easier.. then again, daniel de luca was always up for a challenge.. right? they could not have an entire relationship in secrecy, and maybe this one step to.. fuck step one. lets just get down and gritty, if this wasn't gonna work in public, it definitely was not worth doing in private.. this was them. this was just them talking. danny knew that it made her nervous, he knew it confused her, he knew that she would probably rather jump off something really high than be having this conversation in front of everyone right now. but he had to help her change that. someone had to do it, someone she could maybe possibly trust one day.. one of these days.

he made a face, worried that she was just agreeing and nodding along to make it end, she was confused.. he was confused.. but he needed a clear-headed decision, "you guess?" his tone was somewhat teasing, but he let his eyes wander around the background before locking into her eyes, a self-serving smile laid upon his lips, "what if its not?" he challenged, feeling much relaxed now that the conversation was going somewhere danny was at least just a little familiar with. "what if we miss out on something good 'cos we were scared to try it?" he knew she wasn't gonna be able to answer him. she was used to vanilla. chocolate. strawberry. "just think about it, mouse. you've gotta get outside that box of yours one day or an other. look at me, i'm not as bad as you thought i was, eh? don't answer that, that was rhetorical. especially after this situation. right now. so not weird, " the sarcasm that rang in his voice was friendlier than it often was.

he couldn't help but laugh lightly at her words, not at her.. but at the way she always seemed to confuse herself more than neccassary. he shut his eyes tightly for a second, then opened them, without even looking at her, he leaned in towards her, his cheek brushing against hers, "i'll teach you," he joked, before following up his words, "i'm going to kiss you, and then tell me how you feel," and without waiting too long for an answer -- it wasn't like the petite blonde often jumped at answering him. he had just enough time to softly lay his lips against hers. this wasn't something you would ever expect to happen, she had rejected him over twenty times.. not that i was counting or anything, but it was just. an odd scene. it was an odd feeling. 'cos he was being gentle, knowing that this girl might just break at the drop of a hat.. he knew little things about her, and that might be one of the only things. he wouldn't let her break, shatter to pieces, he couldn't. the way he kissed her, anyone could tell that he really wanted to just protect her. keep her safe. no grabbing ass, no. this was mindy, he wasn't about to scare her away with everyone's obvious conceptions.. that all relationships really were these days were just sex. they weren't, even though he wouldn't mind that to be the truth. maybe he'd invest in one of those neat flashlights. ahahahaha, only he would probably have to get over his general fear of sex toys. his hand in hers, he finally pulled away, feeling a bit breathless. for once. he was supposed to say something, wasn't he? it was like he just blanked out, forget everything that was happening and when he finally snapped out of it he realized why he forgot what to do. he had no idea in the first place.

* omgnotworkingagain.
* short. .____. wut. and kindamaybeepicallyfails. jsyk.

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[MINDY EVELYN MATUS]

this all kind of seemed surreal. like at any moment she was going to wake up and realize it had all been a weird dream...not a bad one or anything, just an odd one. one she would have never envisioned herself having. and yet at the same time she didn’t know why she didn’t just say yes the first moment he…asked her. though she wasn’t sure if ask was quite the word because he hadn’t exactly asked her…or had he. she didn’t really know. It was getting to the point where she was only distantly hearing things. but as for why she was so uncertain she didn’t know. she liked danny...even if at first he’d scared her. she wasn’t afraid of him anymore, which was just proof that there was something special about him…there was something special about them in general. he was a nice guy, he tried to be predictable for her…even if he’d surprised her with this entire thing…and she liked him. she really did. even if she’d turned him down a million times, and told him everything was a bad Idea. that he was a bad idea. and maybe he was…but she knew that wasn’t even the reason she was being so hesitant about all of this. it was Joaquin…and it didn’t make matters any easier that he was so close, she could feel him watching. but he didn’t matter…she literally had to keep telling herself that. it didn’t matter. he had a girlfriend. danny didn’t…she actually had a chance with danny. even if she wasn’t sure she was ready to...date or anything.

mindy was pretty much visibly relaxing, though. she seemed to be forgetting the fact that they were surrounded by people. people who actually mattered, because they were her friends…and his friends, and they weren’t just some random people they’d never see again. how could danny seem so calm about this? despite the fact that she was a little less on edge, a little less confused, she still wasn’t as relaxed as him. she wasn’t smiling and teasing, she wasn’t being sarcastic. although mindy was rarely sarcastic in the first place. but at the some point he had a point...what if they did miss out on something because they were too scared. then again, it was kind of the story of her life, and it hadn’t been an Issue…until right now. here. with danny and a million other people. and yet she couldn’t help but laugh lightly as he said he wasn’t that bad. and then told her not to answer it. but he wasn’t that bad…he was great. and she honestly didn’t know how she hadn’t seen it before. or how she wasn’t seeing it now…or why It wasn’t enough. but it was enough. because he’d pretty much convinced her...to take a huge step. one she’d been trying to avoid, oh, her whole life. and so she decided to answer the question anyway, despite the fact that he’d told her not to. “no, you’re not that bad.” she replied simply, quietly…and despite the fact that the confusion was gone, she was still nervous. then again, when wasn’t she?

she couldn’t help but feel nervous as his cheek brushed against hers…only in addition to the nerves she felt something else. it didn’t feel the way she felt when she was around Joaquin…it felt better but in a different way, if that even makes any sense. while she didn’t have the butterflies she often felt when she was close to Joaquin she wouldn’t even start to deny that her heart sped up a bit, and her eyes closed lightly. for a moment she actually held her breath. and let it out right as he said he was going to kiss her…which didn’t surprise her or confuse her. she was just about to nod her head in surrender when she felt his lips against hers...for a moment she didn’t know what she felt, or what she was supposed to do. but it was a gentle kiss…a nice kiss. it wasn’t her first kiss. she’d had a few as a kid, simple playground kisses, ones that didn’t count. even a couple right before the little incident…but this was different in a way. she knew danny didn’t treat her like he would any other girl…and while it kind of scared her, at the same time it comforted her. and then he pulled away and she was unsure of how to react…for a moment she just looked at him, her eyes not confused or nervous for once…she was just completely at ease. her breathing was slightly uneven as they stared at each other in completely silence, his hand holding hers. somewhere in the back of her mind a voice was telling her to look at everyone else, see what they thought about it…but for once mindy ignored that voice and just looked at danny until she could bring herself to speak. she didn’t know how she felt…she couldn’t explain it. so for a moment she just nodded. “…I’ll do it. we can try it.” she said quietly, casting a short look towards the other people…her eyes resting a little longer on Joaquin before she quickly looked back to danny. “I feel…I don’t know how I feel. I can’t describe it. but we can try it.” maybe she should just shut up now.

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status - - - * finished
words - - - * 892
tags - - - * daniel de luca
notes - - - * this probably makes no sense. this is what happens when i decide to catch up on replies at six AM.

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